Despite some of my grammar rants, I like attempts to stretch and play with language.  And that means I like slang. But not all of it. For example, switching the “k” and the “s” in “ask” always rattles me.

So when the clerk said to me, “Now Mr. Howard, I need to aks you for your credit card"--

--I pretty much freaked. I threw my wallet at her: “Please, you don’t need to axe me for my credit card. Take it. And take my cash.  And my video card. And my library card. And my photos.  There’s a nice one that came with the wallet of a smiling family; I’ve named them the Beardsleys and I like to pretend that I send them on secret missions where they disarm nukes and infiltrate subterranean hideouts.”