The thing I couldn’t stop focusing on in the presidential debate was the fact that Kerry wore a red tie and Bush wore a blue tie.  You just know that their various handlers worked out in advance who would wear what so they didn’t appear on TV with the same tie.  And you just know it took forever to work out.

KERRY PEOPLE: We want the conservative blue tie to appear more presidential.

BUSH PEOPLE: Well, you’re not president, so you get the red tie.

KERRY PEOPLE: We don’t want the red tie.  That’ll make us look like brash, fiery upstarts.  Challengers.

BUSH PEOPLE: You are the damn challengers.  We’re the incumbent.  You get the red goddamn tie.

KERRY PEOPLE: Look, maybe Bush would look good in a green tie.

BUSH PEOPLE: NO.  You get the red tie and that’s the end of it.

(pause)

Listen, if you want, you can change into a blue tie halfway through the debate.

KERRY PEOPLE: Really?  COOL!  Okay---heeeeyyyyyy.  You’re trying to paint us as indecisive flip floppers.

BUSH PEOPLE: Heh.  Yeah.  But that would have been sweet if you went for it.