Crazy, gift-of-the-magi like misunderstanding when Jennifer sold their high-end stereo system to buy Brad a diamond-encrusted parachute, while Brad sold their private jet to buy Jen diamond-encrusted headphones.

Jennifer not happy with Angelina Jolie’s new tattoo, which reads “Pitt Stop.”

Brad, in his quest to make Jen “even more beautiful,” keeps downloading Internet pictures of her body and photoshopping on his own face.

Brad wants to focus on his career...with George Clooney.

Jennifer wants to start a family...with George Clooney.

Brad likes to go out at night, with drugs and prostitutes.  Jen likes quiet evenings at home, with drugs and prostitutes.

Jennifer finally got around to watching Meet Joe Black.

Brad finally got around to watching Along Came Polly.

Paper, cotton, leather, and fruit/flower anniversaries are no big deal--but year five, wood, means a commitment.