I slowly gathered, through the process of pop culture osmosis that begins as soon as I wake up each morrning, that Britney Spears’s new single was called “My Prerogative.” I didn’t realize until I heard it that she was actually covering the old Bobby Brown song.  It was bad enough when lame pop singers were covering decent songs--Samantha Fox doing “Satisfaction,” and Spears herself doing “I Love Rock and Roll"--but what’s up with lame singers covering lame songs from over a decade ago?  And the lame songs sound even worse the second time around.

Fifteen years from now, the hot new singer Young Eve X MC Fresh will cover Spears covering Brown’s “My Prerogative” and it will basically sound like someone coughing up a phlegmball.

In other Spears news, I read an article in which she claimed she’s taking two years off and then will return with a “new, shocking image.” I’m not sure what that could be: her makeout partner Madonna has already used all the shocking image reinventions.  Here’s some thoughts about what she might return as:

A garbanzo bean
A blue state
A high school graduate
Condoleeza Rice’s long-lost sister
A line of human embryonic stem cells
The wife of that Federline guy, high on two years of monogamous, married bliss
Mandy Moore’s personal assistant
A singer/songwriter