I was talking with a nice married couple about ways we de-stress after work. I said, “I never thought I’d do something like this, but sometimes I go to a spa sometimes to get a massage.  I feel like a California yuppie doofus, but it’s nice.”

The husband said, “Do you get aroused during it?”

I blinked.  “Uh, no. You do?”

“We went once, and yeah.”

The nice, attractive wife chimed in “I did too!”

“What, both of you?”

“Oh yeah.”

She said, “You really didn’t?”

I said, “Well, look, for starters, I just paid a bunch of money. For a cheapskate like me, that immediately kills the mood.  Second, they’re piping in Yanni over the speakers, and that’s like thinking about five straight games of baseball. Finally, everything smells of lavender. So...no. I mean, it’s sensual and relaxing, but...no.”

The wife went out in the living room where other people were talking, and exclaimed “Impromptu poll!  How many people have went to a spa and been aroused by the massage?”

I heard some excited talking which seemed to indicate that she had supporters.

I said to the husband: “So this embarrassed you?  And you haven’t been back?”

He nodded.

I said, “Don’t you think it’s just another day at the office for them?  I mean, they must see that all the time.”

He shrugged. “It just made me not want to go back.”

I think I’m lucky, to be honest. If I was so easily aroused by that sort of thing, I probably would have ended up with a family of six back in high school where we used to give each other massages all the time as part of drama class.  These days I think it would only work if the masseuse dressed up in a Princess Leia slavegirl outfit--that would probably cut through the libido-dampening effects of Yanni and lavender.

But if it happened, frankly, I just don’t see why it’s something to be embarrassed about.  To me it’s like giving a “thumbs up” to the masseuse’s performance. Or, y’know, some other body part.  Plus it’s potentially a money saver. If you’re showing such tangible gratitude for her work, doesn’t that eliminate the need to leave a tip?