The part I like best about Halloween is that people will get together and watch horror movies.  Try suggesting this on another holiday, and you’ll be met with indifference (Arbor Day) or downright indignation (Easter).

Watching Candyman reminded me why I never succeeded in becoming a screenwriter.  I had been told that my dialogue was good but my scripts weren’t visual or cinematic enough.  Candyman is a dude who appears if you speak his name five times into a mirror, at which point he guts you with a hook.  My idea for a horror movie, The Snorer, about someone who snores five times and then steals all your covers, at which point you leave in a huff and take all your CDs with you.  To me, this is pretty scary if you’ve lived through it, but okay, the hook bit is kind of cool.

The Omen is even scarier than I remembered.  It reminded me that the Anti-Christ first appears as a screaming baby covered in blood.  As do all babies.  They all look evil: how are you supposed to know the Anti-Christ from just a run-of-the-mill baby?  You’ll be all, “Eh, I’m sure it’s not the Devil’s spawn; he’ll look better after he’s cleaned up and chilled out a bit.” And that’s just what the Anti-Christ is counting on.  You take him home and the next thing you know, nannies start dropping like flies.

On the up side, the whole “Anti” concept is a good way to get people off their high horse.  People may think they’re cool, but did the Devil bother to make a whole opposite number named after them?  For example, you’ve got a boastful guy at work who did great on a project and is about to be promoted. Just remind him that there’s still no theological concept for the Anti-Fred, so shut the hell up already.