I was surfing the Internet Movie Database the other day, and the front page mentioned that it was Dolph Lundgren’s birthday.  He was 48.  I wondered: what has the aging action star been doing the past few years?  So I visited his page, and was momentarily stunned by the first line of his bio: “Dolph Lundgren is living proof that brains and brawn do go together.” I hadn’t encountered a sentence that surreal since I read something in the newspaper about meat panties.

But then I took a look at what Dolph has been doing, and it’s apparent that he’s been putting his time to good use.  The world can always use a movie called The Mechanik (it came out last year--did you catch it?) The Defender (because that’s what Dolph is...he defends) or Retrograde (a very honest title) or Fat Slags (which is--wait a minute, what?) and Direct Action (inspired by the movie’s own journey straight to video).

But I had to stop a second when I came across the entry for the 2000 blockbuster Jill the Ripper, because the IMDB gave a number of alternate titles for the flick.  Jill the Ripper is apparently also known as The Bone Ripper, The Leatherwoman, and Tied Up.

How about that!

And really, I applaud the writers and producers of that movie.  Because great writers throughout history have struggled to find the exact right name for their masterpieces, and I’m glad to see that the masterminds behind Jill the Ripper were no different.  Take Herman Melville, author of Moby Dick, who considered naming the book The Whale Ripper.

Or Queequeg Action.

And--this is a little known historical fact in regards to Melville’s classic tale of sea adventure and human tragedy--but his first draft was called Fat Slags.