1. Irony!  I was sentenced to anger management after seeing the movie of the same title.  I think it was because I stormed out of the theater, bodily injuring three ushers, a popcorn maker, and a ticket seller, screaming “That wasn’t a comedy.  I paid money for a comedy.  That was a tragedy of Sophoclean proportions.”

2. What possessed the Cannes Film Festival to invite Meg Ryan to join its panel of judges?  This is the woman who made French Kiss, Proof of Life, and Sleepless in Seattle of her own free will.  She wouldn’t know a good film if it bit her. This is like saying to the designer of the Hindenbergh, “You know, we really groove on your style.  How about coming to our airshow and giving us your expert opinion?”

3. The USA network is aptly named; it embodies the spirit, generosity, and good old-fashioned customer service of the American way.  Here’s an example.  Let’s say you’re working from home, and decide to watch Octopus, a fine, artistic film about a gigantic sea monster who eats people.  And let’s say your spirit is elevated by this marvelous cinematic feature, and you feel a little teary-eyed to see it end.  You want more of this narrative masterwork.  What should come on after it?  Why, Octopus II: River of Fear. God bless you, USA network.  God bless America!