The other thing I did lately was quit my job of nearly eleven years.  I quickly learned to sympathize with Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: everyone asks you the same questions, all the time.  So I can be forgiven for making things up.  I just didn’t expect anyone to believe me.

HUMAN RESOURCES (calling my cell): I can’t believe it!  I just heard the news! Where are you going next? What’s your plan?

ME: Well, I never meant for this company to be my entire life. I want to get back to my real love--the thing I was doing before I took this job. And that’s what I’m doing.  I’m going back to porn.

HR: ....

ME: But I don’t want to call it ‘acting.’ I think that’s crude. I think of it more as performance art.  And there’s a lot I’ve learned here that I can take with me. For example, when you do a marketing campaign, there’s a point that I like to think of as ‘the money shot.’ Now, it’s not an apples to apples comparison, but I think the money shot of business-to-business marketing can be very applicable to a literal money shot.

HR: ...

ME: ....

HR: ....Ohhh.

ME: I’M KIDDING, KAREN.

HR: Oh!  Okay.  I take it very seriously when people tell me where they plan to go next, so I thought, well maybe that’s what Greg is planning to--

ME: Even if I wanted to, in what alternate universe do I actually have the qualifications?