Yesterday I stumbled across the web site of someone with whom I went to high school.  She now gives classes in sensuality and sexuality, and describes herself as “poly, pagan, and sex-positive.”

Can you imagine how the experience of going to the doctor would change if this was actually a potential diagnosis?

“Great news honey.  The tests came back positive.  Sex positive.”

“Sweetheart, I’m so happy for you!  Now we can--HEY.  Can’t you wait until we get home?  This is a waiting room.”

“Oh, just let them watch.  We’ll be a beacon of hope or something.”

Or:

“Mr Peterson, your results came back.”

“What’s the verdict, Doc? Give it to me straight.”

“I’m afraid they’re negative.”

“My God.”

“Don’t worry, there’s always next year’s checkup.  In the meantime, I’m writing out a prescription for mouthwash and dental floss.  Try using them more than once a week.”