I dreamed I won “Most Humorous” in the Bloggies!  And then the IRS gave me a refund for everything I’ve ever paid them!  And then my boss gave me a corner office equipped with a private gym and a gazebo!  And then I grew an extra arm and this third arm was a master of kung fu!  And then a monkey crawled out of my buttocks and invented cold fusion and fed the world’s children with ice cream!

Now that I’m awake, though, I’ll just congratulate the winner--what?s-her-name with the baby and the caps lock--and also fellow losers the Yeti, the ‘Zilla, and those Fug girls.

From now on I’ll only enter blog contests I can win. Like “Most Likely to Gratuitously Mention Alexis Bledel at the end of a Stupid Post Like This One.”