I hate this time of year.  Not because of the pressure of the holidays, or because it gets darker earlier, or even because it’s the down time between seasons of Battlestar Galactica.  No, it’s because this time every year, 95% of people who write personal blogs become obsessed with their participation in Na No Wri Mo--or National Novel Writing Month. 

National Novel Writing Month is an annual exercise that invites people to a write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel between November 1 and midnight, November 30.  The official site describes it as “a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing.”

Okay, hold. Stop right there.  Does that sound like a recipe for a good novel?  When’s the last time you saw a cover blurb that read “Shortlisted for the Booker Prize because of its seat-of-the-pants writing style”?  Try “A slapdash exercise in verbal logorrhea that made me physically sick.”

You can’t write a good novel in a month, so why bother?  But don’t take my word for it.  Let’s look at some famous novels that were written in less than a month, and see how they turned out:

On the Road by Jack Kerouac.  Actually, I have no idea how long it took to write this book, but it was probably a month or so. It’s awful.  My college literature professor told us, “This book actually inspired some students of mine to jump on a train and travel across the country.” Well, sure, but not because they liked the book--they were trying to escape having to read schlock like Kerouac.

The Naked Lunch by William Burroughs.  Again, I don’t know how long it took to write this book, but a month seems about right.  And actually, I like the book.  But you won’t be able to do a similarly good job unless you’re 1) a drug addict 2) gay 3) living in the ‘60s.  So unless you meet all of those requirements, take your hands off the keyboard and slowly back away from the computer.

Jersey Girl. Okay, this was a screenplay, not a novel, but Kevin Smith says he wrote it over the course of a week.  And it shows.  I’d rather staple my lips to the back of a Scud missile than watch it again.

Technically the results of Na No Wri Mo aren’t supposed to be good, but are just meant to encourage people to get something--anything--on paper.  I agree that this is a worthy goal.  But start with fingerpaints.  No need to rush into the whole words thing until you’re good and ready.