IN A WORLD WHERE LIFE IS CHEAP…

Me: Damn it.  I think I forgot to water the plants again.

...AND DANGER LURKS IN EVERY CORNER....

Me: Thank God.  Coffee.

Co-Worker: Don’t drink that!  It was made last week.

ONE MAN DARES TO STAND UP AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Me: Can we reschedule the department meeting?  I can’t think before noon.

(Rising, escalating chorus soundtrack like “Carmina Burana")

FROM THE STAR OF “WHAT I DID LAST WEEKEND"…

Me: I’m glad I bought those socks.  They fit me great.

..AND “WHAT I PLAN TO DO NEXT WEEKEND"…

Co-Worker: Beer?

Me: Why are you even asking?

COMES A NEW MILESTONE IN ACTION THRILLS

Me: I leaned back so far in my chair that I almost fell over.

Co-Worker: I do that at least once a day.

THIS FALL, IT’S NOT TWICE THE EXCITEMENT

(Shot: Me examining fingernails)

IT’S NOT TWICE THE ADVENTURE

(Shot: Me updating Friendster profile)

IT’S ALL OF THAT...CUBED.

Co-Worker: Is that fungus growing in your cube?

Me: Oh yeah, I always forget to throw out the sandwiches I don’t eat.

EXPLODING INTO THEATERS SOON.

Me: Zzzzzzzzzz.