It really gets on my nerves every time I’m reading the news and the Palestinian prime minister is referred to as “Mahmoud Abbas, also known as Abu Mazen.” What’s up with that?  The rest of us don’t get two names.  I don’t get to be “Greg Howard, also known as Ace Strongchin.” Just choose one and get over yourself.

Maybe it’s a curse.  Maybe as a young child he offended some great malevolent power, who pointed a hoary finger at him and intoned, “Unless you can manage to implement the Israel/Palestine roadmap, you will forever be known as ‘Mahmoud Abbas, also known as Abu Mazen.’ You will need to get those names monogramed on your bath towels.  Do not disobey me.”

“Oh yeah?  And what if I’m unable to implement the roadmap?”

“Then for the rest of your life, you’ll have doubled your chances at being called for jury duty.”

On a completely unrelated note, I’m pleased to say that I’ve only done three or four of Daniella’s Things Not to Do if You Want a Second Date.