I have a lot of political opinions that I generally keep to myself, because they’re a little “out there” and people tend to get freaked out by them.  But frankly, I’ve become less guarded about discussing them lately.

I think it’s because the election is drawing nearer and I find myself having to consider Kerry and Bush over and over again.  And I find myself thinking about how ridiculous that is.  So when I’m confronted by a Bush or Kerry fanatic, I listen for a few minutes and then roll out one of my own cherished political positions:

“I think that the old TV series The Greatest American Hero was actually a documentary, cleverly disguised as fiction in order to fool the public into thinking that aliens haven’t actually visited our planet.  If you look in any phone book, there’s an awful lot of Ralph Hinckleys.  Any one of them could be a schoolteacher who found an alien costume and learned to fight evil.”

I’m not saying that people still don’t look at me strangely.  But as soon as they start yammering on about how Bush has protected the country against terrorists or how Kerry has fiscally sound ideas for healthcare reform, I know I’m on pretty solid rhetorical ground.