When I started preschool at age four, I didn’t take to it very well.  In my first week or so, I got into several fights.  I bit one kid on the neck and locked another in a closet.

If you were to make some guesses about my future life based on those incidents, you’d have to conclude that I became a violent adult. But I grew out of it.  For example, last week I only bit one person on the neck. The week before that I only locked one person in the closet.  I’ve mellowed out considerably.

That’s why it bothers me that my niece, who has started pre-pre school at age two, is worrying some of her teachers on account of her alleged lack of sociabilty.  She keeps to herself and doesn’t immediately relax around large groups of kids.  They’re saying she may require some watching.  As my sister-in-law says, it’s as though they’ve already labeled her as a potential problem.

She’s two years old.  When I was two, I wasn’t around large groups of kids.  I’m pretty sure I spent all my time rotating around on one foot and then falling down.  Going to school is a big deal, and it’s going to take some time.

But the teachers aren’t the only ones worried by the thought that Cameron may become a quiet, introspective child.  One of her parents is a hotshot lawyer, and the other sells multi-million dollar homes. They ask themselves: We’re a couple of type-A personalities; how did we wind up with a type B+ child?

(Suspicious, sidelong glances at Uncle Greg, who is himself about as socially aggressive as a lamp post. Greg whistles innocently.)

The point is, everyone needs to chill out.  She’s two, and she has plenty of time to become a fierce go-getter.  But even if she doesn’t, why is this bad? Let’s face it: the vast majority of people do pretty much suck, and it’s good to recognize that at a young age.  Otherwise you’ll end up the victim of a lot of pyramid schemes.

In the cosmic scope of things, is it necessary to race around the playground, scaring away pigeons and stomping on babies?  Is it necessary to plunge into a group of kids and declare yourself their leader? Or is it good to grow up with a more thoughtful temperament, enjoying the textures and nuances of life without commiting yourself to the domination of the known world?

The only real advantage of being a more aggressive personality is the eventual material gains. But to me that’s not a compelling reason.  For example, let’s say you want to drive a sporty car.  You don’t have to drop $60K at the nearest dealer. There are cheaper ways of satisfying your need for speed:

In my view, it’s only important that you’re always able to make new friends:

And have a healthy sense of curiosity:

And retain the abiliity to smile and wave, even when perched up in the air with fierce animals roaming around beneath you:

If you can do all these things?  You’ll always have a leg up in life.