MOM: And how are your other friends?

ME: Oh, my old friend Scott added me on Facebook. I haven’t heard from him in years. 

DAD: Who?

ME: My college roommate. You know him as Scott-Ernie-Scott.

DAD: Oh right.  Why did we call him that, again?

ME: Because his real name is Ernie. We were in an English class and the teacher said ‘I’m going to read your names off the roll sheet, but let me know what you’d like to be called.’ And Ernie turned to me and said ‘I never liked my name.’ And I said ‘Maybe you should ask to be called Scott.’ And the teacher read Ernie’s name, and Ernie said ‘Here, but I’d like to be called Scott.’ And the teacher gave him a funny look, but referred to him as Scott for the rest of the year. And the name stuck, and we always called him Scott.  And apparently he still goes by the name twenty years later because his name is Scott on Facebook.

DAD: Hmm.

ME: What?

DAD: Doesn’t he realize the importance of being Ernest?