Sometimes I don’t eat enough for lunch, which sends me on a mission around the office in search of food.  I look for board meeting leftovers and other freebies.  They’re healthier than the vending machines.

Yesterday I went into the kitchen and found a sign that said “Help Yourself.” It was attached to a can of Slim-Fast.

I’m not on a diet, but the can was unopened.  It said “Healthy meal in a can.” It was strawberries-n-cream flavor.  I figured it couldn’t be that bad.  I opened the can and drank it.

It tasted like strawberries-n-cream flavored death.

I felt it expanding in my stomach.  It was as though I swallowed a driver’s side air bag.

I can’t tell you how much empathy I now have for people on diets.