I count 15 requests for CDs in the comments, so I’m all out. Sorry. I had been planning to give out copies of the “Geese Aplenty” home game as a consolation prize, but the game has been declared illegal by John Ashcroft. He invoked a little-known section of the Patriot Act that bans anything that “Appears to be funny but which I don’t personally get and therefore makes me feel stupid.”

The other day I made a mix of songs that I like to listen to while I run, and I thought it would be fun to give the mix away on this site. So the first fifteen people who leave a comment and express an interest in the mix will get a copy of “Run, Geese, Run.” I’ll email you, get your snail address, and send it to you this weekend.

However, it’s imperative to be aware of the following caveats before asking for the mix:

1. Context is everything. If you don’t run, you will hate this mix. It’s not a collection of trendy alterna-bands like Death Cab for Cutie or Cat Power or whatever. You don’t want that pretentious wheedling when you’re trying to kick your ass into gear. The name of the game is cheese. We got stuff that would make your hip friends blush, but which sounds good when you’re sweating buckets and lobster red and ready to die. If you don’t run and you still ask for the mix, try to do some exercise while you’re listening to it. Play hopscotch, or jump up and down while flapping your arms. Just do something or the brilliant subtleties of this compendium will be lost on you.

2. Quality assurance testing. As a corollary to the above, this mix hasn’t been quality tested. I ran with it yesterday and I was thinking that I should have dropped that, that, and that track and added this and this track. But it’s too late now. To put it another way: Ralph Nader has heard this mix and thinks it should be recalled. Michael Moore has heard this mix and is outraged by its politics. NASA scientists have heard this mix and think it’s fine for liftoff. So it has issues.

3. Artistry. Another thing to be aware of: you know how your friends give you CD mixes and they have these beautiful, tastefuly designed covers? Well, this one doesn’t. I used a crappy freeware program to create it and it looks horrible.

While I’m on the subject, I have an issue with all you blog types who write funny, insightful posts and also do artistic stuff on the side. You’re all, “Here’s my well-written prose and I also do web sites and freelance graphic design work and I’m an architect and I have a gallery exhibit opening and it’s being curated by David Byrne.” Oh yeah? Well, I can write a bit, when it comes to anything artistic...let me put it this way. When all the other kids were making paper mache Santa Clauses, the teacher grabbed me by the ear and said, “Look, Greg, why don’t you just sit in the corner here and eat some paste? It’s good for you. Come on, eat it.” So all of you just give me a wide berth.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Also, my CD burner hiccups sometimes, and I only tested the master disc for track errors, so if one or more of the tracks doesn’t work, just remember that you get what you pay for. All right then. Comment if you want it.