I just found out about fantasy football and I’m very upset about it.

It turns out that fantasy football is a season-long competition played by football fans in which participants draft their own team and compete with teams built by others. Individual game winners are determined by points accumulated by players based on their real-life performance.

In essence, this people are watching tons of football on TV, reading about the rest of the games or catching the highlights on the news, and then playing their own games in their spare time.

I’ve been known to be called a geek from time to time--well, actually, every day--but nothing I do even comes close to this.

I mean, sure, people have tried to draw me into ridiculous discussions, such as whether the Hulk could beat Superman.  But I refuse to get sucked in, and after an hour of arguing I’m completely done with the topic.

As opposed to traditional geeks, these fantasy football people can completely blend in.  They don’t wear Starfleet insignias on their chest.  They could be bankers.  Executives.  Presidents.  Zionist conspiracy?  Give me a break.  It’s the fantasy football cabal that I worry about.  Zionists are kittens in comparison, even though I do suspect them of helping launch Ashlee Simpson’s career.

The real problem is, nobody has told fantasy footballers that what they’re doing is wrong.  Traditional geeks, at one point, faced William Shatner’s famous wakeup call--but Joe Montana never stood up in front of an audience of a thousand screaming fans and shouted “GET A LIFE.” Therefore, fantasy footballers just continue on their merry way, and society suffers as a result.

The world is just a bit darker for me today.