The furniture delivery people just left my place.  Yesterday they gave me a delivery “window” from 8 a.m. to noon.

Okay, first of all, that is not a window. A window is 30 minutes. An hour tops.  Four hours is an entire glass ceiling.

Then, they arrived at 7:30 a.m. and called me incessantly.

A four hour window and you can’t even hit that?

They asked me where I wanted everything put.  I would have told them, but I doubt they would have been willing to comply given that my directions would have included a sensitive anatomical region.

Ever hear the expression “can’t hit the broad side of a barn”? I’m officially changing that up to “can’t even make it inside a furniture delivery window.”