North Korea has made tentative steps towards ending their nuclear program following a series of 6-party talks. Wouldn’t faster progress have been made if they just cut out the six parties? That’s a lot of late nights; of course they’re too tired to go back to the negotiating table and talk shop. Where the hell are we getting our ambassadors from, Penn State?
Iran continues to dispute U.S. claims that Iran has been involved with smuggling weapons to militia groups in Iraq. Intelligence analysts have used serial numbers to connect Iran to devices called Explosively Formed Penetrators (EFPs). Iran officials have asked U.S. officials to stop interfering with their sex life.
Steve Jobs is filing a lawsuit against the governments of Iraq and Iran, claiming that both governments have infringed upon Apple’s “i” trademark used in world-famous products such as iPod and iPhone. Jobs fumed, “They’re making us look bad. If I designed a country, I’d never build a user interface full of competing ideological factions.” Iraq Prime Minister Nouri Maliki has assured Jobs that as soon as the civil war settles down, he’ll look into renaming the country to RaqSoft.