My friend and co-worker has been carefully monitoring my laser eye surgery recovery, because she’s scheduled to get the same procedure with the same doctor.

When she asked me what the worst thing about the procedure was, I wanted to make all the jokes about it that I’ve posted here, except, well, I couldn’t.  I couldn’t bring myself to scare her.

I mean, look at her. She’s practically a zygote. 

So I told her something like “When the angels come the next day to gently lift up your eyelids and show you a beautiful and dazzling new world, sometimes the pixie dust gets in your eyes.”

I don’t think she bought it.