(Chatting with the CEO of Friendster)
Me: Thanks for speaking at our event.
Him: No problem.
Me: I have to ask you something that everyone asks you all the time.
Him: Okay.
Me: Will you be my Friendster?
Him: Heh. You know, my rule is that I have to have met the person at least once. I get dozens of requests every day from people I’ve never met. A Friendster network is supposed to be about real friends and acquaintances. I don’t understand people who add strangers or famous people. Internet people are weird.
Me: Now I feel bad about having added Mila Kunis.
dude, you should feel bad. she was born in 1983! for pete’s sake
HEY. What do you take me for? She’s engaged to Macaulay Culkin, for god’s sake. Just conceptualize that for a second, then come back and write me an apology.
isn’t macaulay already married? i am so out of the loop.
he got a divorce a few years ago.
tragic.
anyway, greg, don’t worry. i know mila. you can be linked to her through me.
snowshoe, keep up, he is divorced
im not apologizing! she was born in the 1980’s! go look at snowshoe’s latest picture from the 80’s and then apologize to ME!
I haven’t been keeping up with Macaulay, but I can imagine he wouldn’t hold onto a woman very long, I mean imagine what his come face must look like.
Who cares when she was born? She’s my Friendster, not my concubine.
No need to feel bad for that at all. Hell, she could be born in 85 for all I care!
hey. i’m friendsters with you, greg, and i was born in 1982. is this an issue?
and, if so, am i in fact your concubine? please keep me informed.
ok, so im the only oldie here
Whoa! Way to make a girl choke on her morning coffee there, EV.
Also, can you clarify concubine application procedures? Thanks ever so.
I’ve been trying to explain the concubine procedures to you and Kate, but you’re both standing too far away. Come closer. Here, have some candy.
Yeah, uh, sorry. I just couldn’t get that open-mouthed cheek-smacking image out of my brain. Damn, that’s just gross.
i’m officially vomiting right now.
just how many concubines do you have greg? i think this will affect our new living arrangement.
Jen, I must be as old as you, because potentially dating anyone born in the 80’s seems horribly wrong.
So is the guy your Friendster now or not? Because if so, he’s one away from me and I could use some empty self-validation.
Nah, I never added him. What, Mila’s not empty self-validation?
The name “Mila Kunis” sounds either like a bad infection or a sex act.
When she was born, I was starting my senior year in high school. I hate her kind.