It’s time for the truth about this site to be told. I’m not who you think I am. I’m not Greg Howard--some random nobody living in northern California. This entire site has been constructed around an imaginary personality.
It’s time for you to know who I am. I’m…
DONALD RUMSFELD!
I’ve used this web site to log the IP addresses of every person who has ever visited here. And now that I know you’ll voluntarily read the inane drivel of some liberal-leaning dork, I intend to track every one of you down. I WILL WIRETAP YOUR PHONES. I WILL SEND YOU ALL TO BE TRIED BY A MILITARY TRIBUNAL. I WILL FEAST ON YOUR LIVING HEARTS. I WILL.....
......eh, you know what, screw it. I’ve always been crappy at April Fool’s jokes.
The idea that you’re Rummy is actually very frightening. Thank god you’re not. Or perhaps this is a clever ruse to throw us off the track...?
It would have been truly scary if you’d said, John Ashcroft.
Now that I think of it, admitting you’re Greg Howard is pretty scary!
Greg would never play the Ashcroft card because he knows we’d all bust out this link again.
The thought of being tracked and hunted down isn’t that scary. I’m sure it’ll happen someday.
But that singing torture link . . . that completely ruined my morning.
I’ll admit it, you had me going. How embarrassing.
God, I hate April Fool’s Day. I’m glad to see someone else is crap at it.
I mean… great prank! Really really good!
at least this is a better prank than short sheeting someone…
As long as you aren’t Donald Rumsfeld, THAT’S the man that will have you killed if you speak out against Bush Co.
You forgot to preface it with “Now let’s look at the real truth, what I had meant to say was (fill in bullshit line here).
i want you to know that i was about to post the ashcroft link again, but nikita beat me to it. damn!
Now I’m going to have to rethink the Condoleeza Rice joke I’ve had planned.
Whoa. You really had me going there for a second.
NOT.
You’ve inspired me, Greg. Tonight I shall call up my dad and tell him that I’m pregnant. What fun.
melly - WHAT a fantastic idea. thanks for the inspiration, to you both.
and donald, how many times do i have to tell you, it’s MS. RICE to you.
It’s just like Donald Rumsfeld to make us think that this is all an April Fool’s joke. I’M ON TO YOU RUMMY! YOU’LL GET MY IP ADDRESS WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD, DEAD...”
[Transmission terminated]
I thought it was only Ms. Rice if you’re nasty.
*desperately trying to mix it up by coming up with andy card joke*
this makes it even more appropriate that we named our decorative concrete cat that sits in the garden, “rumsfeld”.
The singing dude SUCKS! I thought I couldn’t carry a tune, but I was sadly, sadly mistaken.
And Greg, it was too obvious. You couldn’t possibly be that er, dude. Or is this just a ruse and you really are the dude?!
I need to start paying attanetion to politics. I am way out of the loop and I can’t keep calling each and every politician “dude”. It’s not professional.