I wasn’t home much this weekend, but when I was I had music blasting. Between that and my Ipod and my car stereo, I was immersed in music for nearly three days straight. Sometimes that kind of exposure to music does nothing to me. Other times, it’s like being struck with a tuning fork. My perceptions shift and I walk around completely disoriented.
When I was younger, this happened to me constantly. In high school, a friend of mine started talking to me after I had been listening to a favorite album, and I could barely keep up with the conversation; I felt like I was moving underwater. That’s because music is completely astonishing at that age. It rips you open and pumps you full of colors and textures. You’re too young and stupid to know that these sensations are heightened by your age, because you’re young and stupid. You think it’ll always affect you that way. But it’s like building up a tolerance to alcohol. As you get older, music loses some of its power. It becomes less visceral and immediate. You’ve heard it all before.
I interned at a PR agency in college. I remember a guy in his 30s talking to another guy, saying how addicted he was to music as a kid. He said, “Now I hardly listen to it.” I always wondered if I’d grow up to become that guy.
Now that I’m his age, I realize that I have and I haven’t. Because I don’t always react to music; sometimes I even work at home in silence. When I listen to it, it doesn’t always seem new and fresh. Sometimes it’s just white noise. But given the right confluence of time, songs, and mood, I’m thunderstruck all over again. Yesterday someone asked me if I was sleepy. But I was just reeling from the impact of all the songs I had heard over the past 72 hours. I was mulling over their internal logic. I was fixating on their unique calculus. I was blinking away their afterimage. I tried to explain all this, but ended up just smiling and saying “Sure,” which was about the best I could manage while moving underwater.
Man i love my ipod too! at a very sensible age 40+ i have discovered the art of ‘soundscaping’...that is tying in a precious moment to what’ s playing ...eg standing on a snow covered peak at 1654m -’greatestview’ SILVERCHAIR or watching seagulls sail in a stiff breeze to ‘floaton” MODESTMOUSE
in fact i’ve decided that a piece of music of whatever genre works if it can play whilst you observe birds in flight...today i watched some swallows play to the KILLERS -Hot Fuss-how neat!
i try to be underwater as much as possible. if there was no music part of me would die inside.
Music is the essence
When you say “music” you really mean marijuana, don’t you.
(good post)
you’ve managed to put into coherent words what i was trying to say in my post last night as well. i still live a lot more in music than maybe most grown-ups can. so many moments of my life are permanently and solidly affixed to a specific soundtrack, to the point that there are songs (arias, overtures, operas ...) i can’t listen to now, because they take me so directly back to somewhere i can’t afford to live anymore. sometimes it leaves me reeling. sometimes it turns everything a whole different color. anyway, you’ve already said it all better. thanks for this post!
I’m so glad you posted that. I thought it was just me. I’ve noticed for the past few years, that when I buy a new album, it becomes background noise almost as soon as I turn it on. Every now and then something will jump out at me, but it’s becoming increasingly rare. I remember when I used to devour a new album. I’d put it on, dim the lights, and just listen. Or wear my headphones all day just to soak in the wonderfullness of it. But no more. If I dim the lights, put on a new CD, and lie down, in 10 minutes I’m either asleep, or back up and playing tetris. I miss those days.
That being said, I heard a track off the new Shatner album, and it is gold, pure gold.
Great post!
Your post totally reminded me of this comic:
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/102504/no-underwater-level.gif
For the record, I’m still young and stupid and I have absolute tonnes of music which I immerse myself in at every opportunity.
(Oh and I got heaps of Morcheeba after you mentioned it a while ago.)
I hope you liked them; otherwise I’d feel bad. I just got this compilation of other artists’ music they did called “Back to Mine” and it’s frickin’ great.
I’m excited to find out what kind of music Mattie’s drawn to at that age. I don’t think he’s going to change his mind about not liking it when I sing “Close To You”, though.
Melly - are we talking The Cure song?
My only regret is that young people have to be so insular and make fun of others to build their identity. That means I, as a 30+ fat balding man, don’t feel comfortable going to concerts and dancing like a freak like I did when I was between the ages of 15-25 because I know they’re going to be snarking. If we could all rock out to the same music we know is incredible (Modest Mouse, The Killers, The Beta Band, etc) it would be a great world.
But I put down my share of people.
Echoing Romy’s comment, I think I still feel music just as powerfully as I did when I was younger and that certain songs put me back in a place in time(although it’s much sadder to visit now that everyone else has left). I would buy tons of albums even now if I had the money or thought that I would listen to them more than once.
That’s another thing: when you get older, buying new music (at least to me) loses a little bit of its meaning because now you have such a vast library you can’t possibly listen to everything (and you know you’re going to listen to some things over and over). So what does one do?
Everybody: go to this site right the heck now and rediscover the power of simple, unironic music.
You’re welcome.
(I’m honestly not being a shill here. I just think this is some of the best music out there, and I wanted to share; this seemed a good a place as any to make this point.)
Oh, and: you’ve written pretty much exactly what I’ve been going through lately, young Howard. This is probably because you’re going through stuff trying to put the right mix together--the CD you were talking about earlier, am I right?
You managed to put into words - what I posted on 10/26/04 you crazy mindthief.
amen, man. amen.
i never thought i’d reach this point. i find it amazing how 16 year-old me still has such a hold on 27 year-old me.