Concerned Women for America are accusing Starbucks of promoting a homosexual agenda because a quote from Armistead Maupin appears on the back of some of their cups.
CWA’s intervention comes a moment too soon; statistics show that an increasing number of straight men have wandered into the coffee chain and burst into tears after hearing Alanis Morrissette piped in through the speakers. Anecdotal evidence suggests that many of them have whispered to themselves, “Sing it, sister.”
No word on whether CWA is also going to boycott those $10 mugs with gaudy floral patterns, although they have expressed an interest in getting male barristas to wear something other than a green apron.
Concerned Women for Amercia’s official charter includes a list of national “concerns” that they feel they need to address, such as:
Concerns not listed include:
*Correction: On 9/21/05 around 8:17 a.m., “Geese Aplenty” erroneously stated that Concerned Women for America are not, in fact, concerned that their actions perpetuate hate and intolerance about regarding lifestyles. We’ve since been informed that after filing protests against Starbucks cups, many members of CWA go home and have pillow fights in their underwear. This is not in itself a homosexual act, but many of them feel guilty about it anyway.
I volunteer to assist with educating the women having pillow fights in their underwear, providing they are young and the pillows are not feather-filled.
Being a Concerned Woman of Canada, these Concerned Women of America ... well they concern me.
I know I’m concerned--about these extremists. Heck, I’m a woman, AND a Christian, and I’m feeling a need to flee this insane asylum while the gettin’s good when I read drivel like this. Do upstanding Christian women not have more important things to worry about than what is printed on paper COFFEE CUPS?
I know I do.
Belinda: sing it, sister.
I once had a child-proof safety cap possessed by the Devil. I think it ate my liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
And on a more serious note…
One thing I’d like to say to Maureen Richardson - state director of CWA - regarding this quote:
“I think it’s wiser for them to stay out of these issues so that they don’t offend conservatives and people of faith.”
Who are you not to be offended? As a Christian woman, I’m calling bullsh*t. I have a new agenda I’d like to push. It’s called BURN YOUR SOAPBOX. Look for it coming to a city near you.
QOB...I’m Baptist (yeah, and NOT Republican. Go figger), so I’d have to call “shenanigans”.
Know why Baptists don’t have sex standing up? Someone might see them, and think they’re dancing.*
*(There is actually nothing in the Baptist faith that prohibits dancing, but that fact ruins the joke.)
There are three religious truths: a) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah, b) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of The Christian faith, c) Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
Alanis Morrisette - she took all my bitterness and angst and made it ACOUSTICAL. That is what I’m concerned about.
there is a very real danger here. some of these starbucks are within barnes & noble booksellers. some young metrosexual seattlite might actually finish his extra-foamy half-caf latté, then go buy an armistead maupin book, and the IQ of the country will fall a couple points more. THAT concerns me.
HA--I never heard that one with the Hooters add-on. My sister has actually called me cell-phone to cell-phone because she THOUGHT she saw my vehicle pulling into the liquor store and wanted to razz me about it.
Actually, we don’t drink in my family, because the history of alcoholism runs deep. I think that Baptist *deacons* are the only church members that are specifically exhorted not to use tobacco or alcohol. For everyone else it’s more like “all things in moderation”, but most that I know do not drink. I know some that smoke.
as a gay christian woman i think i am offended! or have offended myself? or offended someone else because of myself?
oh forget it. i am just too confused about how i am supposed to feel on this issue.
I don’t believe you about the pillow fights. Please post a video as evidence. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
You know what’s awesome? The head of the Concerned Women for America is a MAN.
http://www.cwfa.org/articledisplay.asp?id=2110&department=CWA&categoryid;=
Oh, Kimberly, that is RICH! Thanks for looking that up. I was a little unsettled by this statement after their “six goals”:
“CWA also deals with a variety of other issues that don’t comfortably fit into a category, yet are important to address.”
Yesssssss, my Preciousssss....and address them we willlllll........
Armistead Maupin is a pretty good writer. What does his gayness have to do with that? What exactly is the concern of the women? They don’t want homosexuals to write anything? Or they don’t want to read anything written by a writer who is gay?
Are these people affiliated in some way with the funding cuts for Public Libraries in California?
This kind of reminds me of a Mad TV skit where an actor playing Jerry Falwell did this announcement that watching “Ellen” would turn you gay. I cannot believe that with everything that’s going on in the world today that these women are worried about coffee cups. That’s just so very sad.
Concerned Women for America? Is there a less transparent “astroturf” front organization imaginable?
If I knew frappacinos turned you gay, I think I would have to take that risk. What an insidious plan. Hook you on overpriced oversweetened coffee milkshakes and then make you surrender your backdoor virginity for the next fix. The evil bastards. Does this also explain why that Antigone Rising album sucks so bad?
Armistead Maupin is frickin’ hilarious. When I am reading one of his books in bed and start laughing, my wife asks me if there is anything important she needs to know about me that I’ve been keeping in the closet. I just tell her that I read Toni Morrison too and I’m not at any risk of turning into an African-American woman.
yello is absolutely right. what CWA should be concerned about is the amount of green you have to shell out for a cuppa that crap.
I’ve always been fascinated by how some conservatives seem to believe that making someone turn gay takes no more than a flick of the wrist. Either I’m unusually straight, or they’re all leaning way over in THAT direction and afraid someone’s going to come up, er, behind them and give a little push.
I am concerned. I am a woman (not plural, except when the others start to talk. Can you hear them?). I am of America. I have pillow fights. I have them in my underwear. I do not feel guilty.
If you wear a blindfold during the pillow fights, it’s like you weren’t really there.