Think tanked.

Yesterday I had to go to an event for work, and ended up listening to a consultant give a lecture.  It was one of those business consultants who attempts to teach business leaders how to develop new thought processes.  In particular, this consultant advocated the creation of a “thinking environment” in which a speaker and a listener become “thought partners.”

According to this consultant, you have thought partners when:

  • The listener focuses solely on the speaker without moving or fidgeting.
  • The listener empowers the speaker to develop his or her thought process by being attentive and not interrupting.
  • The listener practices a “relaxed expression” for the speaker.  This expression should not be “neutral,” but rather be “positive.”
  • The listener doesn’t stare at the speaker, but makes his or her eyes “available” to the speaker.  “Soft eyes,” as the consultant put it.

  • You might laugh and sneer and say that this consultant is one of those high-priced bozos who makes a living talking nonsense.  However, I have to admit that while listening to this talk, I began to think of projects at work.  And then I thought of home repairs.  And then I thought of something funny I read.  Towards the end I spent most of the time thinking about sex.

    Clearly, I am not a very skilled “thought partner.”

    I need to work on this.

    That “thinking environment” sounds great, and it seems like it would work, except that it only works if those who take on the role of speaker are respectful of the listener’s time and attention and are very concise.
    It seems to me that the consultant was not.
    And, moreover, it seems that there is very little chance that anyone he/she was addressing would be concise in the “thinking environment”.
    Besides, I don’t see how thinking about home repairs or sex would at all violate the listener guidelines you mention in your post.
    Day-dream on!

    Posted by JJ  on  03/10  at  05:32 AM

    i dunno ... were you giving the speaker soft eyes while you were thinking about sex?

    hmmm ... i may need to rephrase that question.

    Posted by romy  on  03/10  at  05:47 AM

    They say that if you zone out early enough, your thought partner can’t make you pregnant.

    Posted by EV  on  03/10  at  06:02 AM

    I’m laughing hysterically at this post! sadly, i’ve had to be at these events far too many times..beggining to think that they sell the same warp…
    although, i wish i could drift off the way you are able to..oh well, i can’t...i’m the speaker a.k.a. the proverbial “high paid bozo” here.
    wink

    Posted by Karen  on  03/10  at  07:05 AM

    I see some of this type of listening in my community and it makes me sick. What ever happened to ‘dubious eyes?’ I think that they lead to better thoughts.
    I see one hill muffin talking to another hill muffin about any topic and the listener has eyes both positive and soft and all I can think about is that we need to increase local mental health program funding...yesterday.
    What gives with the one-size-fits-all communication methods anyhow? Some people work better with ‘thought partners’ that interrupt.

    Posted by Dirty Dan Sin  on  03/10  at  07:07 AM

    It takes two to thought-tango, and if there’s not a thought worth listening to you don’t seem inclined to “partner” with it.  Who can blame you?  A fellow can’t go partnering with every workplace thought that wanders by; they’re notorious strumpets.  Same for home repairs, sadly.  As for the sex thoughts, I just hope you had the forebearance not to partner with your thoughts right there in the conference.  Ones eyes are not necessarily the only thing that one might make available, given the right circumstances. 

    Posted by dan  on  03/10  at  07:54 AM

    “Thought partners” just makes me think of Village of the Damned.  I’m not going to talk about what “making one’s eyes available to the speaker” makes me think of. 

    I think I need to watch less creepy movies.

    Posted by nikita  on  03/10  at  08:11 AM

    If you get knocked up that guy better be ready to make an honest man out of you!

    Posted by Miss Bliss  on  03/10  at  09:06 AM

    and do the spirit fingers come before or after the soft eyes?

    Posted by Patricia  on  03/10  at  10:03 AM

    i prefer to work on my “bette davis eyes”. i think they have more useful purposes.
    wink

    Posted by snowy  on  03/10  at  10:30 AM

    I thought about sex during my meeting today! Made it much more enjoyable. 

    Posted by anna  on  03/10  at  05:09 PM

    This whole “thought partner” bullshit just reeks of Scanners.
    Next time see if you can make the speaker’s head explode.

    Posted by  on  03/10  at  06:46 PM

    i have a lot of thought partners.

    i have thought about them being my partner. many, many times. 

    every time the victorias secret catalog arrives. 

    Posted by the mighty jimbo  on  03/10  at  08:03 PM

    Friends, Romans, and Countrymen, lend me your eyes. 

    Posted by richard  on  03/11  at  02:50 AM

    i always read Geese with soft eyes.  and let’s just say that i have some other not-so-soft parts when i’m done.

    Posted by bryan  on  03/11  at  09:26 AM

    While you were thinking of sex, the speaker was imagining you in your underwear to get over his fear of speaking in front of groups of people...there was something kinky going on there!!

    Posted by m7  on  03/11  at  10:51 AM

    Aww, Bryan - now Greg is going to need to disinfect his entire Thought Environment. I personally am going to need a beer to exorcise my image of your ‘positive’, ‘relaxed expression.’

    Posted by Dirty Dan Sin  on  03/11  at  01:59 PM