Suddenly I’ve become Peter Sellers.

I was talking to my CFO and had to scratch my shoulder, but I forgot I was holding a cup of coffee.  It hit my shirt with a stain the size of Liberia and the rest of it splashed on the carpet.

Fortunately, I’ve worked at this company so long that no one even blinks an eye at my idiocy; the CFO simply remarked, “That’s why we have dark carpets.”

That’s thoughtful of them. Having dark carpets, I mean. 

Posted by Flip  on  11/18  at  05:26 AM

Once my husband was preparing some boards for a presentation, and showed up at the meeting not realizing he had cut half his tie off in the paper cutter.

Posted by Peggasus  on  11/18  at  05:29 AM

maybe you should get some gortex oxfords. 

Posted by The Mighty Jimbo  on  11/18  at  06:18 AM

Once, when a friend asked me the time, I turned my wrist to look at my watch, completely forgetting that I was holding a large container of movie popcorn in that hand.

Posted by John  on  11/18  at  07:57 AM

wow. you got the entire office to decorate in a manner specifically to suit you and your habits?

sweet! talk about job security…

Posted by snowy  on  11/18  at  08:09 AM

Somebody in my office neglected to place the carafe in the coffee machine before the coffee started coming out.  It doesn’t really look much different from all the other stains on the carpet.

his tie?  in the paper cutter?  Bwaaaaaa haha ha ha jeezus at least it wasn’t the paper shredder.  Talk about an after-school special.

Posted by Auntie Sarah  on  11/18  at  08:33 AM

not to criticize or anything, but how do you forget you have a cup of coffee in your hand?

Posted by erica  on  11/18  at  08:56 AM

Oh, and why don’t you use black shirts? smile

Posted by Flip  on  11/18  at  10:56 AM

Camouflage might be in order (for your wardrobe, the office decor, etc.)… but then everything would just blend together. 
Talk about synergy.

Posted by Kaycee  on  11/18  at  03:17 PM

welcome to my world.  i do this kind of thing all.  the.  time.  and the carpeting at my work?  beige.  beige!  weirdos.

Posted by romy  on  11/19  at  03:40 AM

You guys are talking about it as if dumping food on yourself is foolish or unusual.  It’s only 10am and I already have scallion cream cheese, coffee, and hotsauce on my sweater.

Posted by EV  on  11/19  at  05:04 AM

dorks are sexxxxy. 

Posted by styro  on  11/19  at  06:11 AM

I once had to go to a breakfast meeting with a client (on laundry day, no less!) and I somehow managed to pick the ONE shirt that still reeked of goat’s blood from that week’s sacrifices, and was - unbeknownst to me - stained with the memories of a thousand unhallowed lifetimes serving the dark lord.

Boy was there ever egg on MY face!

Posted by aaron  on  11/19  at  11:58 AM

Thats great!  You’ve got to get a good chuckle out of that one.  But it made me wonder. . .

exactly what manner of man ARE you?

Posted by  on  11/19  at  03:27 PM

I once got out of the elevator at work, tripped, and threw an entire cup of coffee with cream and sugar into my own face.  It happens.  It’s best if people already know this about you, so they can act appropriately blase and save the screaming laughter of the re-telling for late afternoon meetings, preferrably ones which you don’t attend.

Posted by Kath  on  11/20  at  12:49 PM

well, you COULD redecorate your office and home with camouflage, and then it would be easy to colour coordinate to your backgrounds…

Posted by  on  11/30  at  12:54 AM