Strikeouts indicate what I thought before I spoke.

- Hey, [NAME OF I.T. GUY DELETED]! Thanks for the new computer.

- Yeah, we were finally able to get that to you.

- So listen, I notice that I don’t have any method for pumping out phat beats that make the homies go ‘Yo’ and the honeys go ‘Whoa’ speakers.

- Oh yeah. The newer computers don’t come with speakers.

- Well, listen, sometimes I need to wave my arms in the air like I just don’t care listen to webcasts and online seminars that pertain to my profession of choice.

- That’s true.  I guess you are in the marketing department and probably need speakers.

- Exactly.  For example, sometimes when I’m working late and no one’s around, I crank up the tunes and shake it like tapioca pudding on a broken escalator I listen in to analyst reports and quarterly earnings as broadcast by our competitors.

- You know, that’s cool.  I’m sure I can hook you up with some speakers.

- Thanks, man. I really appreciate the ability to winamp this joint until it’s bleeding funk and pumping junk and basically setting this disco on fire keep abreast of industry trends and help our company remain a market leader.

“shake it like tapioca pudding on a broken escalator?” it evokes my senses plenty, but in a confusing kind of way.  Is it like a boba milkshak slopping all over a steel staircase?

Posted by Kathy  on  03/02  at  05:06 AM

Is there any way that I can poke out my mind’s eye?

I don’t even want to know how often you you strip down to your underwear and dance around your office, do I?

Posted by cw  on  03/02  at  05:34 AM

whoa

Posted by jaden  on  03/02  at  06:54 AM

do you honestly think that way?

cool beans about your speakers, though.  <s>rock on</s> congratulations.

Posted by romy  on  03/02  at  07:04 AM

ah zut.  strikeout appears not to work in your comments.  oh, well.

Posted by romy  on  03/02  at  07:05 AM

strike /strike should do the trick, ruzmari.

Posted by Greg  on  03/02  at  07:06 AM

I’m w/Jaden on this one…

Posted by Dirty Dan Sin  on  03/02  at  07:24 AM

At my new job, they don’t give you admin access so you have to request with supervisor approval any additional software to be installed.  I’m currently writing a detailed proposal for a research project on how pop music affects college grades so I can get iTunes.

Posted by EV  on  03/02  at  07:26 AM

NICE.

Posted by teahouseblossom  on  03/02  at  07:39 AM

shake it like tapioca pudding on a broken escalator?  If the escalator doesn’t work, doesn’t that mean it’s staying still and therefore the pudding won’t shake?  Personally, I would’ve used jello falling down the ‘stairs.  Just frontin’.

Posted by binghamton  on  03/02  at  09:06 AM

Sometimes I wave my arms in the air like I just don’t care at work because as already stated, I just don’t care.

Posted by Sarah  on  03/02  at  09:35 AM

i think i just peed myself while laughing.

Posted by kat  on  03/02  at  10:44 AM

this was so hysterical, and so very much like my own train of thought.

Posted by meredith  on  03/03  at  04:58 AM

Yo! no wait. i mean Whoa!

er. anyways...perhaps a nice pair of headphones might do the trick mister high maintenance office noise pollution.

Posted by snowy  on  03/03  at  06:36 AM

Perfect line: make the homies go ‘Yo’ and the honeys go ‘Whoa’

Posted by  on  03/03  at  06:47 AM

now ask for a subwoofer

Posted by jenB  on  03/03  at  12:17 PM

Ok man, I gotta give you your props on this one.  Hollaah!!!!

Posted by Almost Lucid (Brad)  on  03/03  at  07:20 PM

classic example of why people must never develop the ability to read minds. screening one’s thoughts is just too useful. and a talent (handicap?) unique to human beings.

descartes probably did it. i’m sure what he really meant to say was “i think (one thing but say another), therefore i am.”

Posted by sunbather  on  03/12  at  06:34 PM

Oh hey, I totally get that. Being in marketing is the coolest… I got my speakers pretty much for the same reason / by the same method. 

Posted by progga  on  04/12  at  11:00 PM