“SALE! Previewed Adult Videos: $6.95.”
Like there’s a single video in the store that hasn’t been previewed. What do you think the clerks do with their time?
You’ll never hear one of them say “Gee, I’m not sure about that one, I’ve never seen it. But look, you really can’t go wrong with one of the early Savannah Goodacre efforts--before she went all artsy and her stuff became a bunch of weird camera angles and midgets.”
It’s disturbing that a sticky previewed porn can still bring in $6.95.
I once read that rented adult videos have to be… um… Cloroxed before they can be put back on the shelf.
Ugh.
Bad choice of porn stars, as Savannah is no longer with us.
“But look, you really can’t go wrong with one of the early Savannah Goodacre efforts--before she went all corpsy on us.” Better?
Look, I just made up the name. This post was not intended to resemble any porn stars, living or dead. A few fluffers were harmed in the making of the post, however.
I’ve passed that sign so many times, and I’ve often admired the use of “previewed” as opposed to “used”. As if the elite customer service representatives employed by the porn shop have ensured that this is the right video for you by previewing it for you, strictly as a professional courtesy.....
Oh, it’s not like that at all. I once spent a summer working at a porn store, and you’d be surprised at how much fun it isn’t. All the mandatory porn watching gets tiresome before the end of your first shift. Then you get weirdly puritanical. You pass the time watching the customers, and silently judging them. Then they leave, and you loudly judge them.
What was fun: Not telling your acquaintances you got a job at the porn store, and just surprising them at the register. Oh, and judging them.
i wandered into ‘the cave’ on hollywood blvd. 19 and ready to bring porn back to my boy in utah.
i felt so nervous and weird that i randomly grabbed ‘a.c.d.c, plug in anywhere.’ the clerk felt so sorry for me, he kept saying-
“this isn’t about that rock’n’roll band.”
may i just use this moment to say that you really are one of the funniest fuckers i have ever not met.
jeezus greg, where do you think of this shit?
Sacha - I thought you were going to say that you’d passed by it so many times you now used it for giving directions. How cool would that be? “Yeah, you wanna go up two blocks, past the previewed porn sign, then take a right...”
Doppleman - “and judging them.” Awesome.
Did anyone here ever read the “Porn Clerk Diaries”? I think they’re still posted somewhere. The girl who wrote them actually go to read some of them on This American Life.
Or you can buy the blog anthology available on the link directly to your left (no, your other left) and obtain some of the fine Porn Clerk Diaries that way. As well as a few paragraphs from me that you’d otherwise have to comb through my ENTIRE ARCHIVES to access.