The condo complex next to mine has a sign that says “OPEN: SUNDAY 2-4:30.” For a moment, I thought it was great that these people were letting the rest of us know about their emotional state of being. I considered putting up my own sign: “STANDOFFISH: TUESDAY 7-9:30.”
But maybe I could just hang the first sign a way of inviting everyone to come over and hang out. My place would be, for all practical purposes, OPEN to everyone for a few hours on Sunday. The only problem would be convincing some of the more die-hard buyers to get over the whole real estate thing. They’d say “Well, the kitchen is small, but I think there’s a lot that could be done with the main living area.” I’d say “Shut up about the remodeling, grab a handful of goldfish crackers, and have a seat. My friend and my neighbor and three homeless people are about to play a rousing game of ‘Balderdash.’”
I love Balderdash, and I’m real good at it.
I rule at Balderdash.
And whatever, Greg, you’d never be standoffish.
When you’re done with the sign, pass it my way! Excellent idea!!!!
Balderdash is a game? I thought it was my routine response to statements like, “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”
Note to everyone who still keeps the existence of their blog from their parents: it’s not actually in your best interest, because their comments make every blog better.
I googled it. Balderdash IS a game. But, it’s for 10 years and up. Let’s me out.
Yeah, but the tradeoff is that it severely limits what you can post about. For example, last weekend I was in this bar sitting next to an ostrich, and the ostrich leaned over and whispered--well, see, that’s enough said already.
I’m open 24 hours.
Funny, Jaden hasn’t been here to comment yet. I hope she’s okay…
Yeah, sometimes I hold back a little knowing that my mom’s gonna read… but then I remember that she thought the words to “Shake your groove thing” were “Shake your poon tang,” and she once sang along with it at Christmas Eve dinner.
Plus EV’s mom has a nude portrait of herself. EV’s mom kinda rocks.
Greg’s dad, if you have a nude portrait of yourself also, that would be interesting to know.
A nude portrait of yours truly, a very overweight 64 year old man, is a lethal weapon banned in all jurisdictions! If I had one, I’d burn it! And I know what the ostrich whispered. It was a she, and she said, “Hey big boy, have you ever tried it with your head in the sand?”
Greg, I think you should enter the condo next door on Sunday wearing only your boxers. Check the fridge, grab a beer or something and then just walk out.
Greg, if you ever go on vacation, I think you’d be safe handing the reins over to your Dad for a couple of days. Well, I don’t know if safe is the word, but I’m pretty damn sure we’d continue to be entertained.
I’d like to clarify that the nude portrait of my mom is a painting, not a photograph, and it was done by her boyfriend. And despite the fact that she tried to convince me for months that it was hanging in her diningroom, I have never actually seen it. And also, I’m not really doing any work today.
The worst thing about my mother having my blog address is not that I can’t write about her (because I do...often) but that she emails me everytime I end a sentence with a preposition. Annoying. She’s not nearly as easy going as Greg’s dad.
Right. Of course, you don’t have access to my large archive of emails from my father in which he points out some post’s grammatical or factual error.
I with your Dad on his first comment. “Balderdash” was what I was thinking when I read this post.
Balderdash: Bringing hobos and transients (ages 10 and up) together since 1992.
CRABBY: WEDNESDAY 3-5:30
Would be my sign.
Please let us know your Dad’s web address.
Careful..."grab a handful of goldfish crackers, and have a seat” means something entirely different in the Land-o-Toaster-Oven.
Greg, has your dad mentioned the missing “as” in the first sentence of the second paragraph? Oh, and is your dad single or is there a “mom/step mom/dad #2” in the picture? And does he look like a 64 year old over-weight Han Solo?
dayment stole my comment. :-(
The “as” isn’t missing; I sometimes donate my own prepositions to gramatically challenged people on Livejournal sites and so forth.
I used to love Balderdash, but because it’s not made anymore, now I play “Beyond Balderdash.” Even better than the original.
The Dictionary Game is the old fashioned version of Balderdash for the cool kids. I tend to cheat.
balderhaberdashery: the wearing of men’s clothing that makes people say, ‘what were you thinking?’
oh, and my sign reads ‘antagonistic 24/7’
snowy stole my comment :-{
I love your dad. He sent me info on mince pies once. He’s the best!
Isn’t a balderdash something you do when you’re fleeing an over-enthusiatic hairdresser?
Sorry, it’s Friday afternoon…
i’m learning to accept that i will never be as funny or as cool as greg. frankly, this really sucks. dammit. he probably has a bigger penis too. not that i really want to find that out AT ALL.
He’s got better hair, too!
Oh, is Balderdash a definition-creating game? I had a game like that as a kid, but it was called Dictionary Dabble. Is that the same as the Dictionary Game? Or were you, CF, just talking about the version where you open up the dictionary and pick a word most people don’t know?
Yeah, The Dictionary Game is a definition creating game & you have to guess the correct one or hope the other players pick your obsurd but possible definition. You just need your household dictionary and some astuteness. Fun.