It’s not that my weekend was boring; I loved it.  But I doubt it would come across as interesting to others.  Therefore, I think it would be cool if my life transitioned from scene to scene using those little computerized letters that you see in the movies.  You know--the kind the movie people throw it in to give a sense of high-tech excitement.  The kind that produces a little electronic tapping sound that no computer in the world actually makes.

The problem is, the high-tech letters would pump up the energy level but then the subsequent, banal dialogue would ruin everything.  For example:

THURSDAY, JUNE 3
PARKWAY THEATER
OAKLAND, CA

(Audience gets very excited seeing these letters spill themselves across the screen, accompanied by electronic tap-tapping--then, scene begins:)

“I’ve got over 100,000 people in my network on Friendster."

“Holy mother of God.  How do you have that many?”

“Well, I don’t just invite my friends to join.  I also ask people I dislike, and who actively hate me in return.”

“And they accept?”

“Sure.”

“But--they’re not actually friends.”

“Greg, you really don’t get Friendster, do you?”

Or:

SATURDAY, JULY 5
ENDINBURGH CASTLE PUB
SAN FRANCISCO, CA

“So you guys are fighting a lot?”

“I wouldn’t say a lot.  And it’s okay.  The makeup sex is great.”

“Oh, well, that’s nice.”

“Sometimes I even sort of pick a fight just to get to the makeup sex.”

“Uh...and this is working out for you?”

“Well, I think she’s starting to catch on.”

See what I mean?  I think I need to throw out my entire life and hire brand-new writers.  Make the dialogue snappy along with the cool high-tech transitions.  For example, my Sunday night should have been more like this:

SUNDAY, JULY 6
HOUSE OF SIBLING UNIT
SAN FRANCISCO, CA

“So where do you want to eat?”

“That’s all you can think about at a time like this, Scully?”

“I’m not Scully.  I’m your brother, Geoff.  I’ve known you your entire life.”

”That’s just what the goverment wants you to think.”