Scare tactics.

The part I like best about Halloween is that people will get together and watch horror movies.  Try suggesting this on another holiday, and you’ll be met with indifference (Arbor Day) or downright indignation (Easter).

Watching Candyman reminded me why I never succeeded in becoming a screenwriter.  I had been told that my dialogue was good but my scripts weren’t visual or cinematic enough.  Candyman is a dude who appears if you speak his name five times into a mirror, at which point he guts you with a hook.  My idea for a horror movie, The Snorer, about someone who snores five times and then steals all your covers, at which point you leave in a huff and take all your CDs with you.  To me, this is pretty scary if you’ve lived through it, but okay, the hook bit is kind of cool.

The Omen is even scarier than I remembered.  It reminded me that the Anti-Christ first appears as a screaming baby covered in blood.  As do all babies.  They all look evil: how are you supposed to know the Anti-Christ from just a run-of-the-mill baby?  You’ll be all, “Eh, I’m sure it’s not the Devil’s spawn; he’ll look better after he’s cleaned up and chilled out a bit.” And that’s just what the Anti-Christ is counting on.  You take him home and the next thing you know, nannies start dropping like flies.

On the up side, the whole “Anti” concept is a good way to get people off their high horse.  People may think they’re cool, but did the Devil bother to make a whole opposite number named after them?  For example, you’ve got a boastful guy at work who did great on a project and is about to be promoted. Just remind him that there’s still no theological concept for the Anti-Fred, so shut the hell up already. 

The main problem with the snorer script is probably that it lacks sudden bloody death, I think. Oh, and a hook. But then again, if you make someone kill the snorer in the first scene and then let the snorer reappear to haunt the killer night after night after night after night after night after night…

I think it’s got potential smile

Posted by Flip  on  11/01  at  06:02 AM

We chose ‘976-Evil’ for our cheesy viewing pleasure. That is a fine piece of work.

Posted by Dirty Dan Sin  on  11/01  at  08:05 AM

I’ve always thought the idea of a zombie movie marathon for Easter was a brilliant idea.
PS-checkout ‘The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra’

Posted by c  on  11/01  at  08:26 AM

We watched Jeepers Creepers and The Queen of the Damned on USA.  Terrible.  Our trick-or-treaters were real cute, though.

Posted by Matt Ambrose  on  11/01  at  10:04 AM

I love Jeepers Creepers. The first 45 minutes is flat-out brilliant, and it has a decent ending, too.

Posted by Greg  on  11/01  at  10:06 AM

you guys got all the good movies.  i went to a stupid party, got home at 3 am and had to settle for the poignant stylings of ryan o’neal and shelley long in irreconcilable differences.

Posted by romy  on  11/01  at  10:16 AM

My mother decided that Silence of the Lambs was an Easter movie, what with the lambs and all.  We made it into a double feature with Mass.

Posted by nikita  on  11/01  at  10:47 AM

Jeepers, Greg! Your taste stinks.

Posted by Matt Ambrose  on  11/01  at  10:52 AM

Rarely to you see the case being made for pre-emptive baby murder.  That’s why I come to this site.  It’s got zazz.

Posted by cw  on  11/01  at  11:16 AM

1) Try watching “Bubba Ho-Tep.” Aging Elvis and Black JFK fight Mummy. No joke. It was hilarious.
2) “The Omen” just makes me sad. Poor Gregory Peck spends the whole movie going, “Where’d my career go? What happened to starring opposite Audrey Hepburn and being awesome?” But then it makes me happy when I think about the subsequent funny book, “Good Omens” that couldn’t have happened without the movie.
3) Greg, you rock my fucking socks. I laughed so hard at the Anti-Fred thing, I’m going to go around telling all dumb people that they lack their own theological anti/counterpart/thing. Darn, it won’t be as funny as when you do it.

Posted by  on  11/01  at  11:19 AM

I hate to contradict, but I grew up with the Anti-Fred.  We spent just about everyday together in the principal’s office.

Eventually we moved away and I became a working stiff.  The Anti-Fred went on to become an attorney.

I know, I know.  But I don’t make this stuff up.

Posted by Keith  on  11/01  at  11:59 AM

Bubba Ho-Tep is great, although I thought it was not so much either funny or scary and more of a character study, with Bruce Campbell turning in the performance of his career.

Posted by Greg  on  11/01  at  01:47 PM

Someone was just talking to me about a movie called Wild Zero, which has zombies, aliens, AND rock stars. It’s a japanese movies. Go figure.

Posted by  on  11/02  at  08:36 AM