I’ve been reading a lot of the Christian protests against the movie The Davinci Code. C.J. Doyle of the Catholic Action League said, “Frankly I’d urge every Catholic never to go to another movie involving Tom Hanks.” That’s some good smiting, C.J. Doyle! Your incendiary assault will no doubt wreak havoc upon the Hanks financial empire! But I wouldn’t be so quick to bring out the heavy artillery. Christianity has survived Galileo, and it has survived Darwin--but I don’t know what would happen if people had to choose between their spiritual lives and whether they’re allowed to rent Turner and Hooch.
I’ve decided that they might all be right and the story of The DaVinci Code might be an affront against God. On the same weekend that the movie made over $200 worldwide, Northern California experienced rain on both Saturday and Sunday--in May--preventing me from going running when I wanted to. That’s the most tangible evidence of God’s anger that I’ve ever seen.
I didn’t want to see the movie anyway. I read the book and thought it was agreeable trash, and then I was excited because the heroine was in her 30s and attractive and French and so I thought “They have to cast Julie Delpy! I love Julie Delpy.” But no, they go and cast Audrey Tautou, who is in her 20s. Hanks is 50; that volates the half-plus-seven rule, and that’s more of an affront to the cosmic state of things than whatever conspiracy plot has the Church types up in arms.
I was reading an article in the Times that refutes the idea that anyone currently living is related to Jesus because, according to the writer, anyone whose descendents survive for a millennium would be the forefather of every single person currently living on Earth. In other words, either none of us are related to Jesus or we all are. Huh? I didn’t get it either, but I’m just as happy not to be related to Jesus. My Aunt once sent me an excited email revealing that her genealogical investigation of our family line indicated that we were, in fact, direct descendents of Jesus. That’s way too much pressure. I don’t mind being made in His image--that just means that male pattern baldness is Divine, as I’ve always postulated--but I don’t need the pressure of living up to the example of the Son of God. After a hard weekend I’ve only spent about two days knocked out; I strongly doubt I could ever make it a hat trick.
Male pattern baldness divine? Amen to that.
How funny, my mother found a line in our genealogy claiming to be direct descendants of the line of David (so not technically biologically related to Jesus, at least if you believe that Joseph was not involved in the procreation!) AND the Norse Gods - Odin, Thor, etc. It was a crazy Norse invader of England—apparently he re-wrote his family tree and made it law. So, I think that makes Jesus either a great-uncle or some kind of shirt-tail divine cousin. Maybe that means I can smite my enemies? Hmmm..must try that some time, preferably with the evangelicals…
Half plus seven? So I could date a thirty year-old?
Riiiight.
I did not read the book, so I was excited for the movie, because EVERYBODY else read the book, so I thought the story must kick ass. It did not. Tom Hanks looked embarrassed through the whole thing (he did not read the book either). The one plus was Audrey Tautou, because she is purdy. I still can’t figure out what Mona Lisa has to do with any of this.
i’m already bored of this, all the tv shows are doing specials on tha da vinci code and everyone has been talking anout for such a long time already, come on let’s find something that is really entertaining
I’m sure all the Cardinals already have their bootleg copies of Bachelor Party already.
I read the DaVinci Code. I can’t remember a damn thing about it. I read the same author’s earlier book ... can’t remember any of that one either or the dude’s name.
But I did see Tom Hanks in Godspell at the Great Lakes Theater Festival back in the day ... I don’t know what that means, but that was probably blasphemy, too.
Not to be a buzzkill, Heather. Jesus was in the line of King David from both sides; Mary and Joseph.
The Da Vinci Code was a decent book. I don’t think, given its twists and turns, anyone would be able to turn it into a cinematic thriller with the same impact. But thankfully, Hollywood has never shyed away from a challenge of this sort and has always managed to fall to the challenge.
i read it against the advice of everyone i knew, both literary and theological, and found it thorough crap. not even agreeable. i kind of love that it was “sifflé” at cannes - for once i am on the side of french cinematic snobbery.
Bill - the author is Dan Brown and the book was Angels and Demons. A highly recommended read for all of those who did enjoy The Da Vinci Code, as it’s pretty much exactly the same - but better!
My only problem with the movie is that Tom Hanks is not equipped to play the lead role, due to the fact that he is quite obviously a woman (please people have a look at the guy’s mouth!). This fact has ensured that I will never pay a cent to view this movie, despite the fact that Paul Bettany was fantastically cast in the role of the albino.
i read the da vinci code, angels and demons and digital fortress all by dan brown. all 3 books are virtually the same. angels and demons is better than the da vinci code...they’re both entertaining. however dan brown is an AWFUL writer.
saw the movie, it’s really not that bad. it did what a movie is supposed to do… it entertained! i think people expect too much out of a summer blockbuster.
I didn’t find the book all that offensive. Tom Hank’s current hairdo, however? Is a completely different story.
If we ban Tom Hanks movies, the porn industry takes a huge hit…
I mean imagine a world without “Turner and Cooch” and “Forrest Humps” and “Saving Ryan’s Privates”.
Heh, Dan Brown is pure drivel. He’s a half-step above John Grisham.
And I’ve been told that Shaving Ryan’s Privates wasn’t half bad.