Step One: Impending Disaster
Working out. Find second wind due to catchy pop song. Toe is tapping, heart is pounding.
Step Two: Getting Deeper
- Ask friend about the song, smirking “Usually I hate the crap they play in here, but that was a cool song. I guess they’re moving away from crap Top 40, eh? Ha ha ha ha ha.”
- Friend shoots me an odd look. “Uh, that was Pink.”
- Oh. Well, okay, whatever, I’m not a music snob. “What was the title?”
- “I dunno, but she sang it on Saturday Night Live last weekend. Look it up on the web.”
Step Three: Nancy Clueless
Spend work time Googling reviews of last weekend’s Saturday Night Live. See plenty of references to Pink’s musical performance, no mentions of specific song title. Becoming slightly obsessed.
Step Four: This is How John Walker Lindh Got Started
Actually end up on official Pink message board. Read forum threads that contains such pearls of wisdom as:
“hahahah, u cee her on snl? She rawked, dude, but I could see her buttt krack, lol!”
Refreshed by this chance to rub virtual shoulders with the future of America, but disturbed because no one bothers to mention the title of the song.
Step Five: Not a Brainstorm, More of a Light Shower
- Realizes that song must be current Pink single. Google “Pink first single new album.” Immediate success: Song title is “Trouble.”
- Acquire song. Listen to it several times. Endorphins kick in. Fully expect that this exorcism has put the matter to rest. Go to bed and sleep the blissful sleep of angels.
Step Six: Head Like a Hole
Get up the next day. Shower. Go to work. Something seems wrong. What is it? Oh.
“Song stuck in head” is an understatement. Ironically named “Trouble” is clamped tight on medulla oblongata like a remora on a shark.
Step Eight: Back to Google Again
Now researching medical organizations that will perform lobotomies on request.
dOOd, I boght the noo Pink allbum the day it cam outt cuz Pink RULZ!
one word: walkman.
that’s all i’m saying.
I was looking on Google to find out what a remora was. Why do you remember this stuff anyway? Is it shark week already?
Maybe this will help:
Only you and you can’t hear me
When I say softly, slowly
HOLD ME CLOSER TINY DANCER!!
Yeah, good luck with that.
Singing Green Acres will erase any song from your mind. But I haven’t been able to find the cure for Green Acres......
The Mexican Hat Dance is the musical sorbet that will cleanse your palate of any song.
Now, on to cures for hiccups…
I had a similar embarrassing obsession experience recently with a Dido song I heard on the radio. Sigh.
But, I perscribe 25 O’Clock. Found back in the day that listening to that song creates magical force capable of getting any other song that is stuck in your head out.
jennnnnnn, which version? The original Dukes of the Stratosphear or the They Might Be Giants cover? (Both good, as it happens.)
ohhhhhhhhhhhh.......
the old grey mare,
she ain’t what she used to be,
ain’t what she used to be,
ain’t what she used to be…
What happened to step 7 ? Am I missing something ?
Okay, so I can’t count. Why do you think I went into English?
I imagine either would do the trick, although I generally go for the TMBG myself.
Just repeat after me:
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school,
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school,
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school,
Oh baby,
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school,
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school,
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school,
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school,
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school,
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school,
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school,
I just want to have some kicks, I just want to get some chicks,
Rock rock rock rock rock’n’roll high school.
I just want to thank Jennn & Greg for bringing the “Testimonial Dinner” album to my attention. As a ridiculously huge They Might Be Giants and XTC fan, I can’t believe I’d never heard of this before now.
You both rokk!
Greg, I refuse to believe that you have trouble with the ladies.
Testimonial is very uneven but overall worth it. Particularly since you have XTC covering themselves as Terry and the Lovemen.
Damn, I love XTC.
*blink*
I have NO idea what Testimonial Dinner is.
But you are most certainly welcome for having brought it to your attention nonetheless.
Your not loving cool music, or being a music snob, and admitting it in your blog, makes me like you all the more.
Yeah..I gotta wonder what your lady trouble could be here...’cause your funny, smart, have decent taste in music and I’ve seen a photo so it’s not like you look totally unfortunate...do you bathe regularly?
Evil Scientist (muha ha ha) at the ready here. How may i be of assistance?
This reminds me of a parallel experience I had with New Kids On The Block back in the day, only mine had but five steps.
Step One: We could have lots of fun.
Step Two: There’s so much we can do.
Step Three: It’s just you and me.
Step Four: I can give you more.
Step Five: Dont you know that the time has arri-i-i-ved?!!
There was also a step six , but I came to find that that was better handled by the public defender.
The new one she sang during the billboard music awards the other night is even better…
“If God was a DJ”
From Elton John to NKOTB? Oh wait, I can’t cast stones; I posted about Pink.
Why Greg can’t cast stones in one word: Shipoopi.
I am still wondering how I didn’t realize there was no step 7 until I read the comment on it.
as for Pink… my real problem with her existence is that -everyone- seems to need to make the comparison when they see my hair, as it’s short and… magenta-fuscia-scarlet-ish.
Indulge in the pinkness. Pink is Goddess.
Forgive me if I’ve mentioned this before, because, I’m like, a total namedropper, but I had a dream a few weeks ago where I parked next to Pink in the grocery store parking lot. We just said “hey,” and separately headed for produce.
Dude, Donovan, are you slamming people who’ve done the Shipoopi? Cuz I’ll tell you, my 5th grade role as a “town kid” in the high school production of The Music Man and subsequent selection for that particular dance sequence is one of the proudest times of my life. Damn, did I just say that outloud?
Just listen to “The Spanish Flea” by Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass. Goddamn it! Now it’s in my head.
THE PAIN, oh lord, THE PAIN!