It was a tough week. I don’t function well on only a few hours of sleep. If I continue to lose sleep exponentially over a couple days, it gets ugly. On Tuesday, I started talking to myself. On Wednesday, I heard a Black Eyed Peas song and thought it sounded good. Sometime around Thursday, I actually had to sit down and write a communication for my CEO. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the executive-level output that was requested, but rather the lyrics to the old Banana Splits Adventure Hour.
You know you’re in a bad place when all there is for breakfast is pastries and doughnuts and bagels. Whose idea was it to only have that crap in a hotel? And why call it a “continental” breakfast? A continent is a large, substantial thing. There’s nothing substantial about a bunch of pastries. They should call it “Island in the South Pacific that Got Firebombed During WWII” breakfast. I remember a hotel in Austria once that had grain cereal, cheese, and meat. Now that’s a breakfast. I might move to that country if I didn’t live in fear of running into one of the Von Trapps.
One thing that struck me was that on each plane flight, you could walk down the aisle and see scattered green blocks everywhere as literally 30% of the passengers had their nose buried in the new Harry Potter book. I have to say, I found the whole thing appalling--and at the same time, I was unable to suppress a feeling of smug superiority. I mean, think of all those people, like a bunch of moronic zombies, reading the new Harry Potter book--two weeks after the official release date. I had that book wrapped up in the first weekend. I felt like shouting “THE SECRET IDENTITY OF THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE IS ANTONIN SCALIA.” It would serve them right. Pack of lazy ‘tards.
On a less grumpy note, I saw one of those super-tight T-shirts worn by young teenage girls who are trying to look mature and sexy. But this one was really good. It read: “I MAKE MY OWN MONEY.”
You’re right about knowing you are in a bad place when all there is for breakfast is pastries, doughnuts and bagels....we have those at least once a week in my office.
You’re also right about the Black Eyed Peas.
It was a dark day for me when I couldn’t think of anything else besides “la la la la don’t phunk with my heart”.
Who wants a girl who makes her own money? She wouldn’t need me AT ALL.
I grew up in Vermont, whither the Von Trapps settled after leaving Europe and touring the States. So I did run into them, or at least their legacy… So actually, you’re probably pretty safe over in Austria. Hope that cheers you up. :-D
Her shirt should have said “JAIL BAIT”.
Indeed.
i am disturbed by that t-shirt’s implications ... unless, of course, she makes her own money babysitting the neighbor’s kids. yes, i’m sure that’s it, just what the t-shirt makers intended.
scotland and ireland have the best breakfasts. oatmeal, eggs, rashers, bread and cereal if you want it, with whole milk, fruit, yoghurt, grilled tomatoes and mushrooms. i never could bring myself to eat the eggs (they don’t burn them to my liking) but the grilled tomatoes are a thing of beauty. mmmmm.
I saw a teen boy this weekend in a tight shirt that said ‘friend with benefits’ and he had on toe rings. Toe rings Greg! We are officially as old as hills.
somehow i think if i wore that shirt it wouldn’t have the same effect.
Maybe she’s a counterfeiter?
Man, I have said about five times in as many days, I cannot WAIT to see those facking t-shirts go the way of the Dodo.
Also, you get a what-what on that bit about the Black Eyed Peas.
OK, I’m totally weirded out now. I SWEAR, as I was just reading this post, the Banana Splits ACTUAL THEME SONG came on the radio in my office. My husband had been working in here, and had it tuned to the Jim Rome show (some guest host today). I was only half-listening to them yammering on and on about Rocky Palmiero, but during the show they ran a commercial for a local morning sports talk show. That included a clip of the local talking heads playing the BS theme song and laughing hysterically. Totally out of context, so I have no idea what gives. But the confluence of events is too much to ignore. I am now fearful. What is your message for me, Banana Splits? Or is it coming from Greg?
I think it would have suggested something profound and apocalyptic if it had been “Far Out Space Nuts.” But the Splits? Sometimes a banana is just a banana.
Well, all right...but I’ll be watching my back, just in case.
Thank GOD I finished HBP last night before I read that…
I wish we lived on the same coast, so that I could hang out with you and, whenever you got such fantastic urges as to yell out “The half-blood prince is Antonin Scalia” on airplanes, I could totally talk you into doing it.
In the meantime, Austria is a) devoid of Von Trapps and b) great. You will never get a better cup of coffee. Mit schlag.
When I was visiting Austria, I swear they had the best breakfasts in the world. To die for.
And I totally believe that Antonin Scalia is the Half-Blood Prince. Or Prince Machiavelli, at least. Did you know that he’s married to a woman whose name is something like Maureen O’Shaughnessy, and he has NINE kids???
don’t phunk with my black eyed peas… you were missed this weekend. next time you gotta go
Yeah, I don’t get the whole Black Eyed Peas thing. I’ve heard one song by them that I liked. That’s it. Something about Where is the Love, I think.
Hey, maybe some of us didn’t get our preordered copy until a week or two after the release date and had to wait for coworkers to finish reading to borrow their copy. It was very frustrating. But took me a day to read and then cry.
I hate to tell you it only gets worse - I’m on my sixth sleep deprived evening and by now, even email spam is interesting.