New Year’s resolutions (2005 edition).

To hell with the fashion police; wear more spandex.

100 stomach crunches a day.  Don’t need to do them personally--still counts to supervise others.

Return Jennifer Garner’s calls.  2004 was the year of making a point, but it’s time to throw the poor girl a bone.

Enough with being bored in meetings. If no one’s saying anything interesting?  Fingerpaint.

Retire much-beloved one-liner, “I’ve got your weapons of mass destruction right here.”

No longer tolerate street mimes; actively do them harm.

Go back to putting “GREG” on those “HELLO, MY NAME IS” tags.  Scrawling web site address just gets weird looks from people.

Re-read The Davinci Code; make list of important symbols, metaphors, and themes.

Lobby for new title at work: “Duke of York.”

Fumigate.

-Tell more bloggers like you that they rule and thanks for all the funnyass entries…

Posted by xtx  on  12/29  at  04:51 AM

Hey, can I have your WMD one-liner? I’ll trade you my Donald Rumsfeld impression - won’t be needing that for long.

Posted by Dirty Dan Sin  on  12/29  at  07:33 AM

are YOU the reason poor jennifer has lost so much weight and developed that haunted reproachful dog-eyed look?  shame on you, your spandex-wearing mime-hating finger-painting duke.

Posted by romy  on  12/29  at  08:11 AM

and feel free to take the “r” out of “your,” in the last part of the sentence there.

my resolution for 2005?  PROOFREAD COMMENTS BEFORE HITTING “SUBMIT.”

Posted by romy  on  12/29  at  08:12 AM

You may want to consider,

“and replace kind, sweet personality with snarky, smarmy one.”

Posted by jw  on  12/29  at  11:38 AM

You can also use “I’ve got your WMD hanging...” - that one really gets to the point.

Posted by Elle  on  12/29  at  11:44 AM

If you haven’t read them, the rest of Dan Brown’s books are pretty good too.  Although Angels & Demons is the only other “religious thriller”.

Posted by Ryan Maynard  on  12/29  at  03:31 PM

Yeah, please call Jen. She’s been calling me wondering why you won’t call her back. Let her down easy.

Posted by anna  on  12/30  at  07:41 AM

Hmmm...website on the hello badges.  I hadn’t thought of that.  I usually make up names.  I like yours better.

Posted by Catt  on  12/30  at  08:13 AM

cool blog! smile

Posted by Hustler  on  12/30  at  06:39 PM

I think the Duke of Kent gets more perks.  And have you SEEN the Duchess of York?  Old and decrepit.

Posted by teahouseblossom  on  12/31  at  10:26 AM

The Da Vinci code might keep you too busy for the rest of the resolutions.

Posted by Flip  on  01/01  at  05:45 AM

Happy new year !

Posted by Pam  on  01/01  at  05:57 AM

Congrats for being a nominee for best overall blog. I feel extra special bc I nominated you. Happy new year!

Posted by Janet  on  01/01  at  11:50 AM

Did Da Vinci Code have metaphors themes or symbols?  So, when he wrote “See Dick Run,” running dicks aren’t really what were being discussed?  Instead it was symbolic of the pope’s hatred of women and desire to take over the world?

Posted by Meredith  on  01/01  at  02:06 PM

Hey Janet, thanks a lot.  Had no idea about that until just now.  Very cool.

Posted by Greg  on  01/01  at  02:45 PM

Hey, this blog has been nominated for a Best Overall Blog award over at the BoBs. Go show some support, in case the GeeseMan has too much false modesty to ask for it:

BoB Awards Voting Page

Posted by Greg  on  01/01  at  06:07 PM

That last comment from a different Greg than the owner of this blog. But while I am here, I also urge readers to go nominate Geese Aplenty at the 2005 Bloggies.

Posted by GregHa  on  01/02  at  03:04 AM

Loved your site, voted for your site in the BOBs, and then quickly added you to my list of Eclectic DinnerParty Guests in the hopes that more people would find you. ~Grins

Posted by Grins  on  01/05  at  03:57 AM