Oh hey, I have a blog? Why didn’t anyone tell me? I had no idea.
Yeah, so, I’ve been a little busy lately. First, I sold my condo. When I got the paperwork back on the sale, I noted that the buyers were two women. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that my place was bought by two women in a relationship, but it does kind of point in that direction. And I have to say that I’m a little annoyed. I used to spend practically every weekend in bars trying to get two lesbians to come back to my place, and as soon as I move out they make a beeline for it? Real classy, ladies, real classy.
Then I bought a house. I spent a lot of time trying to find one I liked. It wasn’t easy. But I found a nice little house and it felt like the right fit. I decided to make an offer on it. When I came back to look at it more carefully, I found an omen: in the back yard was a little Ben Kenobi action figure with its feet planted into the foundation:
I came over to it and knelt down. Ben seemed to be meditating.
I said, “Should I buy this house, Ben?”
Trust your feelings.
“Right, but what I’m saying is, is it a good idea to go ahead and get this house?”
Trust your feelings.
“Do you say anything else besides ‘trust your feelings’?”
‘Get my feet out of this damn cement’ comes to mind. I’m a Jedi master, not a 1930s gangster.
The place has some problems. It’s perched on a hill, and to say that the floors are sloping is like saying that Chris Brown has anger management issues. The hardwood floors squeak like a pack of mice. But it’s big, quiet, and the from the deck relaxes me. I may need to be relaxed in the months ahead due to work and some other matters, so I’m going to hope that Ben didn’t lead me astray.
Parental units in front of new house.
Congratulations sir. Looking forward to coming to check it out soon.
Congratulations sir. Looking forward to coming to check it out soon.
What? I figured if it worked for Adam, maybe I could get away with it.
No?
Okay. Regardless, Congratulations! I hope you have better luck luring lesbians to this place!
Ben Kenobi is far better than a Wampa. And I bet he knows how to run a roomba. And do the rhumba. And… I’ll stop there before I’m not allowed to visit.
I don’t remember signing a release to permit posting my photo. I’m wearing paint-stained jeans. What if some Hollywood director looking for a new leading man sees this. I won’t even be considered.
That should read: Parental units in comfy but sloppy driving clothes stopping in on way back from So. California!!!
Your new place looks delightful - as do the parental units.
I think the well-grounded Ben Kanobi can only be good sign.
Congratulations!
Congratulations on the new house, but I would be careful if I were you. It looks like Don Corleone and Darth Vader have been getting together at your place. You could wake up one morning with a Bantha head in your bed.
Generally speaking, lesbians are overrated. Can’t wait to see the new digs and have a chat with Ben. It would be interesting to find out what he really thinks of the neighbors.
Awesome new house!! And your parents are so cute.
So what about the action figure made him Ben Kenobi as opposed to Obi-wan? Does Ben have Tattooine-specific garb that shows he’s in disguise? Is it like Superman and Clark Kent?