My parents both joined Facebook recently. It was kind of a strange experience being “friended” by them. I thought, hey, my parents could be my friends, that could work.
But in attempting to work the system, my mother ended up de-friending me, and I suddenly recognized a whole world of untapped trauma facing today’s millenials and pre-teens:
PSYCHOLOGIST: “What seems to be the problem, young lady?”
YOUNG GIRL: “My Mom de-friended me on Facebook. I feel that I am worthless in this world.”
PSYCHOLOGIST: “You can’t place your sense of self worth in whether your mother is part of your Facebook network. You must self-actualize.”
YOUNG GIRL: “But she not only did she friend my brother--they also exchange Superpokes on a daily basis.”
PSYCHOLOGIST: “Oh. Then you’re completely f@#*(&.”
However, my mother figured it out the system and friended me again, which I found very empowering.
Then she put up a photo:
Whoa!
My father, impressed with her choice of photo, offered this background to me and my brother:
“Your mom was cleaning the refrigerator. It was just before we were married or just after. She was 22 or 23. She was hot, tired and annoyed I was taking pictures. She was wearing old cut-off jeans, so far as I recall, that don’t show in this picture. I thought she was the prettiest and sexiest thing I had ever seen at that moment, so I got the camera, a plastic box brownie as I recall that used 120 film, and took several pictures. It is still my favorite picture of her.”
I’m glad that it’s my father’s favorite picture of her. I, however, am a bit more ambivalent. Because, frankly, I’m forced to admit she’s a stone fox (by way of Elvis Costello’s eyewear), and admitting that aligns me a lot more to backwater Kentucky families than I’d care to admit.
Regular reader, first time commenter:
I can’t decide whether to laugh or sigh. On one hand, the hilarity of the saga of untapped teenage trauma demands recognition. On the other hand, the sweetness of your father’s explanation of that picture makes my teeth hurt. Great story, either way!
We’ve talked it over. Pic was taken approximately 3 weeks before we were married. She was 23. Now it’s more than 45 years later, and she still looks great.
I love the glasses. I think your mom looked good in the 80s when we had car pool to Children’s Theater rehearsals.
Hubba Hubba.
I found this to be entertaining. My father recently ‘friended’ me on facebook but it was only because he wanted to see who I was really talking to back at college.
I hear, thanks to that news feed, many questions from my father pertaining to events I really don’t know if a father should know about.
Karp, your father should know better. I lurk. I read. I don’t press for information. Besides, I know I wouldn’t get any information.
What do you mean? I already told you about my three wives hidden away in various flyover states.
wow, your mom looks like michelle tea. http://www.oasisjournals.com/files/tea.jpg
Divorced Irregular Reader here. Always in need of a laugh, hate to cry. However, I will accept the cry today as this entry keeps alive my hope that there is actually Real Love out there. Thank you.
Why is my word verification “Size 71”?
Sigh.
i made the mistake of accepting my aunt in India’s facebook request, and now i have to think twice about every single thing i put up on facebook so i won’t create an international scandal.
your mom’s photo reminds me a lot of how i think my favorite boss would have looked when she was young. she passed away from cancer last year and i miss her.
I might have to roll over and die if my father ever used the word “sexy” when referencing my mother.
I’m 39 and my visceral reaction to any idea/notion/implication that my parents are sexual beings with sexual thoughts is still, “eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!!! God! Gross!!!!”