Mixed signals.

I’ve decided that if a driver in front of me suddenly makes a turn without signaling, I have the legal right to ram them.

I’m willing to discuss specific guidelines with an appropriate representative from the DMV, but the overall point is non-negotiable.

OK, agreed.

Posted by DMV  on  12/12  at  08:42 AM

just like if someone stops short in the middle of the rotary, as a result causing you to slam into them, that’s their own stupid fault, not yours.

Posted by dahl  on  12/12  at  08:52 AM

Of course it is. And I’m pretty sure smashing someone’s windshield in with a baseball bat when they’re beeping at you for no freaking reason is legal too.

Posted by gimmy  on  12/12  at  09:06 AM

Go for it.
And when they STOP at yellow lights instead of proceeding with caution, you can ram the hell outta them too.

I even wrote about it.

This irks me like no other.

Posted by aubs  on  12/12  at  10:00 AM

You’ve got my vote.

I also believe that people who do not accelerate on the helpfully-named ACCELERATION RAMP of any freeway should be dragged out of their vehicles and beaten.  And even though I may be in enough of a hurry to take the freeway in the first place, I’d be willing to take time out of my busy day to administer said beatings.

Posted by Tallulah  on  12/12  at  01:11 PM

Absolutely.

I think we’ve all also got the right—nay, the duty—to glue pointy sticks and cheese graters to the grills of our cars, so as to maximize the damage inflicted on the cars of the boobjobs being rammed.

Hey, we tried to give them the easy way out—there’s a set of signals in every car. Now we’re gonna do it Darwin’s way.

Posted by Charlie  on  12/12  at  01:33 PM

I recommend buying a bigger, heavier car before adopting this policy.

Posted by Dad  on  12/12  at  02:49 PM

I swear, I live in a fairly affluent area, (ok, they are all f-ing snobs) with lots of BMWs, Mercedes, H2s, blah blah blah. It absolutely amazes me that you can spend $60,000+ for a vehicle and it doesn’t come with turn signals. I would be pissed!

Posted by nefarious  on  12/12  at  02:52 PM

Hm, seems to be an international if not global phenomenon. Here in Germany some 70 percent of the drivers “forget” signaling (just my personal estimation)… wink

Posted by Roland  on  12/13  at  04:49 AM

I’m a representative of the DMV. I think. I drive, so I think I qualify. Plus I agree with you, so I’ll sign all of the appropriate paperwork.

Posted by estella  on  12/13  at  05:56 PM

Hear, hear...sign me up for the ramming/beating squad.

Posted by Miss Bliss  on  12/14  at  09:13 AM

And, just to keep things in check, you should be able to shoot out the tail light of anyone who travels more than two miles without turning with their signal on.  And when they’ve driven along with their right signal on and then suddenly move to the left lane (or vice versa), you get to stop aiming for tail light, and shift your aim towards the driver (with the intention to maim, mind you, not kill.  I mean there’s no need to over react here or anything.).

Posted by Rob E.  on  12/15  at  03:32 AM

my dad has wanted to implement a suction-cup dart policy for years now.
he proposes that each driver in america receive a dart gun and two suction cup darts with super glue per year.  then, whenever you see a stupid driver, you shoot it at their car. the dart sticks to the car permanently alerting everyone else to which cars are the biggest driving hazard. 
whoever has accumulated the most darts is obviously an idiot and should be avoided at all costs. or punched in the face.

Posted by sandy  on  12/15  at  05:23 AM

i actually think THIS is the main reason people want to buy hummers. 

Posted by the mighty jimbo  on  12/15  at  06:29 AM

Oh, and another thing. Third, behind the no-signaling and the yellow-blinking-light quandary comes the people that turn on their signal, change lanes, and don’t turn it off. Drives me INSANE.

Posted by aubs  on  12/15  at  03:55 PM