If the weather holds out in the Bay Area, I’m going skydiving this Sunday. I’m too cheap to hire a lawyer, so I’m using this post to indicate my legally binding last wishes.

My initial plan was to leave everything I own to the people who read this site. I have accumulated many “materialistic things” that are “expensive” and “valuable,” and I knew these “precious commodities” would need a good home if I didn’t survive the experience.

But then I thought about the ancient Egyptians, who buried all sorts of stuff in their tombs because they believed that dead people would be able to carry it to the afterlife. And I thought: what if the Egyptians were right and you can take it with you? After all, they made all those pyramids.* I just can’t take the chance. So, I’m sorry: I’m going to have all my “luxury items” and “big ticket purchases” buried with me. You can’t have any of it.

Because heaven wouldn’t be heaven without Buffy Seasons 1-3 on DVD.