SHE: I’m not worried about going on a date with a guy I don’t know very well. I have a series of questions that tell me whether he’s a serial killer or not, and they’re proven to work.
ME: Like what?
SHE: Question #1: Have you ever tortured small animals or insects for fun?
ME: Good…
SHE: Question #2: Have you ever lived alone in a cabin in a land-locked state?
ME: ....
SHE: Question #3: Are you a serial killer?
ME: ...
SHE: ...
ME: ...and you say that this screening process is proven to work?
SHE: Absolutely. I am not dead.
You can’t argue with that kind of logic. Well, you could but you’d give yourself a massive headache and where’s the fun in that?
yeah, i agree. i have always found it difficult to argue with people who are clearly not dead.
still, it’s tricky to ask these kinds of questions of serial killers since they can cut both ways.
I’m going to use this tonight on my blind date.
Well, if she’s not dead, does that necessarily mean she’s made the best choices in life so far?
Hmmm…
I know her! She is exactly like my friend who says similar things -
And I am the one who goes “.....”
I thought my step-dad was a serial killer. Thought I saw him on America’s Most Wanted. Thought I’d be famous when I figured him out and turned him in. Maybe make millions. Turns out I was wrong. He died of cancer. That sucked.