I recently saw my first Bollywood production, which is a movie made in India with lots of singing and dancing. It was great. It was called Mujhse Dosti Karoge!, which apparently means “Be My Friend” but for all I know translates to “Me So Horny.” The story was a riff on Some Kind of Wonderful with the guy not realizing that his bookish, shy girl-pal is a better match for him than the hot party girl, but it was great because the shy girl-pal was ten times hotter than the hot party girl. It was a glorious disregard for reality. In an American movie, they would have at least slapped some glasses on her or something, but this movie just offered up a Bizarro world where the pretty girls read books and the party girls look vaguely like bald eagles.
I also loved that, along with the singing and dancing, there was a wedding every five seconds. A wedding ceremony would suddenly appear out of nowhere, and I’m all, “Wait a minute--the characters don’t even know each other. Why are they getting married? And the movie was all, “Hey, they exchanged five words to each other. That’s reason enough for them to get hitched.” You only see that kind of thing in Bollywood movies, and maybe Kentucky.
Everyone dressed in amazing outfits. You’re thinking, whatever, everyone dresses well in movies. But this flick made the characters in a Meg Ryan comedy look like bums under a bridge. I went home and decided that I, too, would like to be always color coordinated with my background, but after walking to the kitchen and having to change my shirt three times on the way, I decided it was more trouble than it was worth.
Then I started vacuuming my living room and felt the urge to burst into a musical number, complete with badly translated, unrhymed subtitles:
You are thief of my heart
If my heart was like a piece of cheese
You would be the rat getting the cheese
I am now chasing dust bunnies with aplomb
On a completely unrelated note, I was walking through San Francisco and one of the street performers was a very large opera singer. She had a beautiful voice that nearly drowned out the jackhammer on the opposite side of the curb. But, as previously mentioned, she wasn?t a small woman. Maybe you shouldn’t bother going to work or school today--because if it’s not over until the fat lady sings, I think we’re all pretty much done.
I rent Bollywood DVDs frequently. I love their films. Sometimes a fierce combat is in progress with people hacking away with swords and maces, and suddenly the two armies burst into song and dance. MUCH better than Hudson Hawke.
You want Bollywood? Check out these important must-sees in the genre (I think they’re a better start than what you saw):
“Dil Wale Dulhaniya Ley Jahenge” ("The Big-Hearted Will Win the Bride")--A classic.
“Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham” ("Sometimes Happiness, Sometimes Sadness")--A recent blockbuster (starring THE Amitabh Bachan).
“Devdas"--Lavish. And Aishwarya Rai is gorgeous.
“Kuch Naa Kaho” ("Don’t Speak")--Again, can I be Ash? This is a recent hit.
I make no guarantees about the quality of these films (in the traditional sense). But they are entertaining, if you have a free four hours or so.
Was that comment about Kentucky, a knock at the South?
Cause, I’m from Tennessee and while we know that those Kentuckians are a bunch of in-bred dolts, it’s another thing for a non-southerner to take a swipe at them. Cause me an my mamma an them will sho fire kick some yankee ass.
Bollywood? C’mon.
It’s all about Dollywood. What could be better than surgically enhanced, bleached blonde, dirt-shack raised singers who go on to star in classic American film (9 to 5 anyone?), AND then opens a theme park named after herself in the Smokie mountains.
I’m not sure Dollywood will last though. Rumor has it that she started it with a couple of boobs.
No, man… the new thing is Raleighwood, North Carolina. It is definitely a Must See for the whole family. Yup, take a walk through the golden days of yesteryear. Where North meets South and slavery is now, sadly just a state of mind. But in Raleighwood the Civil War lives on every day.
And they got hogs and farms and churches and hogs. Not a lot of singing or dancing, though. That’s for sissies
Oh. My. Gawd. I can see that I have been away too long.
Check out Sholay, which I think is the definitive, and probably only, curry western.
Building off Ismat’s list I can also recommend (translated titles for Netflix purposes):
* The Beautiful Bride and the Even More Beautiful Groom - during the big dance-off, somebody’s head actually explodes.
* Sari Wrong Number - don’t miss the big production number shot entirely on skis, the Dance of the Seven Vails
* That’s Not Ganesha and He’s Stealing My Car - basically a remake of the Barefoot Executive, but with tourettes-like bouts of frenzied dancing every three minutes or so and a kleptomaniac elephant.
let me know if any of these exist so I can apologize to the producers personally.
First, let me say that Dan and his puns must be stopped. Write your Congressman.
Second, why has nobody asked the most important question:
The whole time you were watching Mujhse Dosti Karoge! were you thinking, “When will he fall in love with the lesbian drummer?”
I don’t have a comprehensive list of Bollywood favorites to share, but did anyone see the opening scene/credits for Ghostworld? That’s some Bollywood delight.
I have here in my possession a copy of Sangharsh, which, as far as I can tell, is the Bollywood version of The Silence of the Lambs. Yeah, you heard me.
Here’s the synopsis from the back of the DVD, verbatim: ”Sangharsh is the story of a Criminal & Cop who fall in Love with each other. Reet Oberoi, a Delhi based CBI agent is given the task to hunt down a serial killer named Lajjashankar, who is on a killing spree and believed to be a psychopath. To find out more about Lajjashankar, Reet meets with several people who had connections with the mass murderer. One of the people she meets is Aman Verma, a Casanova gangster now locked up in jail and serving a life sentence who was a very close friend of Lajjashankar at one time. Reet finds out that only Aman can truly help her find Lajjashankar but in this process Reet falls in Love with Aman.”
Um, . . . I haven’t yet brought myself to a point where I can actually watch this however. It’s one of those things.
You want to borrow it?
Oh, and PS I loved Hudson Hawk.
I should have read this post before I got to work. It would have saved a lot of trouble.
Being half Indian, I know enough of Indians to know that Bollywood films, seemingly unrealistic to many westerners, are actually fairly realistic. Which makes you kind of scared about reality
At which corner does the fat lady street performer sing?
And Me So Horny? Nice.
Ah, bollywood!
I was immensely disappointed when I found out the bollywood scenes in The Guru were specifically made up for that film and not clips from an original film.
I’m adding one to the list:
Hum Aapke Hain Koun - available via netflix, lots of comedy , lots of weddings and dancing and even some cricket (the sport).
I saw a great one about a boy who needs to save his village from evil British overlords by beating the British cricket team at a giant cricket tournament. It was sweet.
It was at Union Square at the street that Crate & Barrel is on. I thought she was Crate & Barrel.
no, she was just barrel.
How long were you waiting to post that last bit about the fat lady singing?
Personally… I think Monsoon Wedding was an all time favourite.... And Jennn is talking about Lagaan I think
Sorry Greg, the British beat you to the punch: UK TV had a Bollywood Idol contest recently. It was won by a 150 kilo girl who’s currently filiming in India.
(Who knows what will happen when the fat lady sings and dances?)
Agree on Monsoon Wedding...it was a good flick. Still need to check out the new one, Bride and Prejudice (bollywood a la Austen). Maybe there should be another type of fusion of literary types...liking mixing it up with Shakespeare...like Hamlet. Maybe have something like..he starts serenading a love song to the dead Ophelia, then a slow choreographed dance around her grave...then the Janet Jackson backup dancers come in…
“Monsoon Wedding” is not a bad film, but it’s not a Bollywood movie. It’s an Indian director working within the confines of art house storytelling. Real Bollywood is a whole different genre.
You dared to try dressing like ppl in a Bollywood film? That was hilarious. In one song and dance sequence the hero and heroin would have had 6 to 7 costume change and would have been in London or Switzerland (fave spot for a Bollywood film) for all you know. (Yeah they film the song sequence usually abroad).