For the second week in a row, I’m stuck in a hotel room for several days. The shampoo in my bathroom is called “Clarifying Shampoo.” I have absolutely no idea what to make of this name. It sounds like something Dumbledore would use to ferret out his enemies.
Why do they bother to put art on hotel walls? Does anyone really walk into the room and say “Oh, a nice sailboat, I feel like home”? More often, I wake up completely disoriented and and a bland, framed dandelion swims in front of my vision. I can’t remember whether I’m in a hotel room or a nursing home, and I resolve to quickly consult my Clarifying Shampoo.
lol....I hear that the clarifying shampoo works better than your average plastic 8-ball.
Clarifying shampoo improves your eyesight: it’s eye shampoo.
Please be sure to report back to me with your results.
My beauty consultant friends tell me that clarifying shampoo is intended to do a better job of removing all the products that you put into your hair. It is not recommended for users of gels, waxes or Regaine.
They put art in hotels for the same reason they put raisins in cookies: to make them wretched. Now go wash your eyes!
Thanks Adam. I really didn’t know!
Of course, that could just be my muggle definition of clarifying shampoo. A man with such magical powers of yourself might well be able to use it for more mystical purposes.
If you have relationship troubles, clarifying shampoo will make you see the truth.
And I’ve heard that hotel artwork is a big scam perpetuated by cheesy designers who are friends of hotel managers. They make a killing on these large-scale contracts.
Hahahaha i was laughing throughout your pose. They probably post paintings on the wall just so they’d get to say “Hey we put some effort in interior design here. We should charge you more”
I like the art in hotels! Do I have bad art sense?
We like to critique the art choices, and their lack of uniformity. Like there are 6 shell paintings, and yet none of them match each other in tone or concept.
The hotel we stay at has “HAIR shampoo” on the bottles. That’s so you don’t confuse it with the carpet shampoo these places usually give you.
Maybe if you use enough of that shampoo The Meaning Of Life will become more apparent?
They put paintings on the wall to cover up the holes bored through the walls for peeping. Clarifying shampoo puts the sham into the poo because it doesn’t work at all now clarifying butter, it’s like amazing pigs flying unicorn humping magic!
That’s nothing compared to the promises of ultimate inner peace and tranquility described on the shampoo they make for girls. We are lucky, actually - even strawberry cream cheese can bring about results previously only made possible through expensive and time consuming spa procedures. But don’t we deserve it?
I never have subscribed to the theory that women are inherently less intelligent than men. My commitment to this point-of-view is constantly stressed by the money women spend trying to turn back the advance of time, and their willingness to buy into every hokey pseudoscientific claptrap the cosmetics industry foists on them - bee jelly, aloe vera, vitamin this and vitamin that, protein this and protein that. But I guess if ultimate inner peace and tranquility is achieved, who can complain.
My personal favorite along those lines was a commercial for a wrinkle serum that claimed to “cure the actual cause of fine lines and wrinkles!” Um, so like… time? Advertising is amazing. It’s amazing that it works.
The makers of Axe appeal to a different vulnerability, though, don’t they?
I always suspected they put bad art on hotel room walls so that we wouldn’t look at the art too closely ... and notice that there were tiny camera holes right in the middle of each picture ...
I do not understand this post. I blame my obfuscating bodywash.
I have stayed in some hotels with real art (the Omni in downtown LA, in particular). It makes the ‘art by the yard’ stuff in places where I usually stay that much more offensive. I’d rather see plain wallpaper than another rainy parisian streetscape with a sad cat outside the cheese shop. However, I’ve found that sharpies can really help me overcome this antipathy. Now the cat is asking, “giv me th cheez or Ima pee on yr dorstep.” I *know* the good people at Courtyard by Marriot will get as good a giggle out of that as I did.