History of Chad.

People who first begin to explore the continent of Africa often become confused when they encounter the country of Chad--a seemingly American-sounding name nestled inbetween such exotic locales as Nigeria and the Central African Republic.  Many times, they simply shrug their shoulders and move on.

The country of Chad in Central Africa.

What they don’t realize is, it’s not a coincidence.  The country of Chad is actually a 19-year old male from Pella, Wisconsin named Chad Donaldson.  Popular in high school and generally thought of as an All-American Boy, Chad found himself increasingly restless after graduation.

“My friends just wanted to get drunk and go cow tipping,” Chad says.  “I had bigger dreams.  I couldn’t get into a state college, so eventually I thought about becoming an African country.”

Chad Donaldson prior to becoming the country of Chad.

Chad Donaldson prior to becoming the country of Chad.

Finding success with his bold move has meant having to field curious questions from complete strangers.  “People I don’t even know will talk to me,” Chad says with a smile.  “They ask me if I look up women’s skirts. I have to explain that the bond between a country and his people is a sacred thing.  I don’t go around checking out the chicks just because I’m, y’know, everywhere.”

Having at first ridiculed the young pioneer for his offbeat career decision, many of Chad’s friends have since changed their minds.  Some of them have even talked about following in his footsteps.  “Oh sure, I get that a lot,” Chad says.  “My best friend Biff wants to become a country right next to me--so we’d be, y’know, the country of Chad and the country of Biff.  I had to tell him, look man, that would be great--but you got Libya here and you got Cameroon there, and so all the slots are pretty much full.”

TOO BAD, CHAD!

Posted by CF  on  07/19  at  06:13 AM

That Chad...what a card. It’s no surprise why beer brewing was one of his top 5 industries until 2003’s addition of significant oil production. I have to wonder also if meat-packing is some kind of an inside joke.

If only Ecuatorial Guinea would lighten up.

Posted by Dirty Dan Sin  on  07/19  at  06:27 AM

very onion-esque grin

Posted by meg  on  07/19  at  06:52 AM

The method of attachment of Chad to Libya also explains the term, “hanging chad”

Posted by Papa Goose  on  07/19  at  06:54 AM

so ... is jordan his counterpart, who never finished high school because he left for the NBA?

Posted by romy  on  07/19  at  06:57 AM

We don’t all just go cow tipping in Wisconsin, you know. Some of us enter cow pie throwing contests too.

Posted by gimmy  on  07/19  at  09:12 AM

i love it! 

Posted by sarah  on  07/19  at  09:42 AM

thanks for clearing that up. 

Posted by anna  on  07/19  at  12:32 PM

No… because Jordan finished high school, went to North Carolina, and then Chicago. Once he won 5 NBA Titles, he knew he was destined for bigger things, like being a country.

Posted by Tom  on  07/20  at  01:19 AM

I can’t hear the name Chad without thinking “MAD real!”

Posted by EV  on  07/20  at  03:36 AM

It’s interesting. I could have SWORN the country of Chad was actually named after child actor, Chad Allen. I guess I was wrong.

Posted by Janet  on  07/20  at  09:05 AM

Hey...something fishy is going on here!  I remember seeing Chad in my geography book in junior high.  And that was in the eighties.  You lie, GregHoward, you lie!!

Posted by teahouseblossom  on  07/21  at  02:58 AM