It’s very hard to stay in the mood when someone is belting out Offspring’s “Come Out and Play"--and doing it very well--while the so-called “video” on the TV shows a couple of asians in a gondola. The song is about gang violence; what does that have to do with gondolas? Although it would explain why a lot of people are disappointed with Venice when they visit. Maybe they wore the wrong colors.
You do learn a lot in regards to lyrics because you get a chance to see them for the first time. Did you know that the line from Van Halen’s “Jump” is “I’ve got my back against the record machine”? With God as my witness, I thought that line was “I’ve got my back against the wrecking machine.” I’ve thought that ever since...well, 1984. I think my version is better. “Wrecking machine” is way more badass. If Van Halen had used that line people would still be listening to them. But they don’t, because they didn’t. Now, I understand that there’s no real such thing as a wrecking machine--it should be wrecking ball or something--but there’s no such thing as a record machine either. It ought to be “record player” or maybe “jukebox.” The point is, I hated both Lee Roth and Hagar and now I know why.
The best thing about being an uptight white guy is that I can always sing “Play That Funky Music” when it’s my turn, because the song is supposed to be sung by an uptight white guy. It’s like casting Jim Carey as someone who is “zany”; you can’t lose. Ideally I’d be able to show a progression, becoming less uptight as the song goes along and matching its narrative, but c’mon, this is free entertainment. No one’s paying for nuance.
Karaoke in Texas in unbearable, because it usually ends up being drunk Girls Gone Wild rejects singing Shania Twain or the Dixie Cicks or something. It’s awful. It don’t impress me much.
RECORD machine?!? I’d be interested to see who was responsible for the transcription at this particular Karaoke establishment. Was the title of the song, ‘All your Jump are Belong to Us?,’ perhaps?
Uptight white guys sing “The Impossible Dream.” I don’t think you qualify. As uptight, that is.
Posted by on 05/01 at 08:09 AM
At least you didn’t think Dude looks like a lady was “Do me like a lady” or a random line from that stupid overplayed Train song was “Van Halen is overrated” instead of “And Heaven is overrated.” I like the Van Halen sentiment better.
Apparently the words to John Mellencamp’s Dance Naked are, in fact, “I want you to dance naked,” as opposed to “I want you, Desnecki,” as I thought they were.
Who Desnecki is, I have no idea, but maybe if I had looked at the TITLE of the song, this mystery would have been cleared up for me far sooner.
I love karaoke. If you are ever in Minnesota, there’s a group of us that meet at the Chalet on Sundays nights. It’s on Rice Street in Saint Paul. Pretty much any cab driver can get you there, if they have a brain.
And we’re not horrible either. I swear. I mean, yeah, sure, you’ll get the occasional screeching from a non-regular and they’ll decide to sing the worst song ever written - Picture (just in case you were wondering) - but on the most part we’re pretty good.
Is it sad that my entire social life revolves around karaoke and that I don’t drink? Probably.
Karaoke in Texas in unbearable, because it usually ends up being drunk Girls Gone Wild rejects singing Shania Twain or the Dixie Cicks or something. It’s awful. It don’t impress me much.
Hello, Greg.
RECORD machine?!? I’d be interested to see who was responsible for the transcription at this particular Karaoke establishment. Was the title of the song, ‘All your Jump are Belong to Us?,’ perhaps?
Uptight white guys sing “The Impossible Dream.” I don’t think you qualify. As uptight, that is.
At least you didn’t think Dude looks like a lady was “Do me like a lady” or a random line from that stupid overplayed Train song was “Van Halen is overrated” instead of “And Heaven is overrated.” I like the Van Halen sentiment better.
I want my nuance tax back.
Blinded by the light, rapped up like a DOUCHE in the middle of the night…
My go to karaoke song is “Look at Me I’m Sandra Dee.” It helps to stuff my bra but I can go without the extra boobage if I’m drunk enough.
Your performance was one of the evening’s highlights. You play the funky white boy so well.
I learned that Oblidi Oblida features a couple called Demon and Morley. Oh, those wacky Korean translators!
hey hey hey. no hating on diamond dave. where would the spandex industry be without him?
wait, it’s NOT wrecking machine?
my whole world just shifted on its axis.
Apparently the words to John Mellencamp’s Dance Naked are, in fact, “I want you to dance naked,” as opposed to “I want you, Desnecki,” as I thought they were.
Who Desnecki is, I have no idea, but maybe if I had looked at the TITLE of the song, this mystery would have been cleared up for me far sooner.
So. Weirdly. Prophetic.
Taylor?
ha ha ha. Taylor.
If I ever sing karaoke, it will be the song Overkill by Men At Work.
I love karaoke. If you are ever in Minnesota, there’s a group of us that meet at the Chalet on Sundays nights. It’s on Rice Street in Saint Paul. Pretty much any cab driver can get you there, if they have a brain.
And we’re not horrible either. I swear. I mean, yeah, sure, you’ll get the occasional screeching from a non-regular and they’ll decide to sing the worst song ever written - Picture (just in case you were wondering) - but on the most part we’re pretty good.
Is it sad that my entire social life revolves around karaoke and that I don’t drink? Probably.
cheap wine and a three legged goat (cheap wine and a three day growth...) Cold Chisel anyone?