Geesestapo.

I’m impressed--a few people nailed the question.  A few others I helped out a bit, and the upshot is the CDs are gone.  Thanks for playing.

“Geese Aplenty” was the title of a work by Woody Allen’s fictional playwright, Jorgen Lovborg, in the essay “Lovborg’s Women Considered.” The essay was originally published in The New Yorker, and is available in the Allen compilation Without Feathers, which you should read--along with Side Effects and Getting Even.

Other play titles by Lovborg: “A Mother’s Gums,” “Those Who Squirm,” “I Prefer to Yodel,” “While We Three Hemorrhage,” and “Mellow Pears.”

What kind of playwright was Lovborg?  Allen treats us to an excerpt from “Mellow Pears”:

BERTE: Do say you like the way we furnished the house!  It was so hard on a ventriloquist’s salary.
MRS. SANSTAD: The house is--serviceable.
BERTE: What?  Only serviceable?
MRS. SANSTAD: Whose idea was the red satin elk?
BERTE: Why, your son’s.  Henrick is a born decorator.
MRS. SANSTAD (suddenly): Henrick is a fool!
BERTE: No!
MRS. SANSTAD: Did you know that he did not know what snow was until last week?
BERTE: You’re lying!
MRS. SANSTAD: My precious son.  Yes, Henrick--the same man who went to prison for mispronouncing the word “dipthong.”
BERTE: No!
MRS. SANSTAD: Yes.  And with an Eskimo in the room at the time!
BERTE: I don’t want to hear about it!
MRS. SANSTAD: But you will, my little nightingale!  Isn’t that what Henrick calls you?
BERTE: (crying): He calls me nightingale! Yes, and sometimes thrush!  And hippo!
(Both women weep ashamedly).
MRS. SANSTAD: Berte, dear Berte!...Henrick’s earmuffs are not his own!  They are owned by a corporation.
BERTE: We must help him.  He must be told he can never fly by flapping his arms.
MRS. SANSTAD: Henrick knows everything.  I told him your feelings about his arch supports.
BERTE: So! You tricked me!
MRS. SANSTAD: Call it what you will.  He’s in Oslo now.
BERTE: Oslo!
MRS. SANSTAD: With his geranium…
BERTE: I see.  I...see.  (She wanders through the French doors upstage).

I’m proud to pay tribute to this great, if nonexistent, artist.

“MRS. SANSTAD: The house is--serviceable.”

I can almost hear the disdain in her voice. I love it.

Posted by Patricia  on  05/24  at  08:12 AM

Have you ever pondered what course events would have followed if your had named the blog “While We Three Hemorrhage”?

Posted by holley  on  05/24  at  08:31 AM

This is painfully reminiscent of a lot of blogs that I’ve read.  Great new site, btw.

Posted by  on  05/24  at  08:51 AM

How am I supposed to brag about being a member of Geese Aplenty if you won’t activate my account? How can I have any pudding if I don’t eat my meat?

I had 32 ounces of Dr. Pepper for lunch.

Posted by melly  on  05/24  at  11:15 AM

So there you are. That dialogue from WA is so “Dinner with Andre"-ish.

Posted by  on  05/24  at  07:49 PM

i sort of love that someone went to prison for mispronouncing “diphthong.” there is justice in this world after all.

Posted by romy  on  05/25  at  05:19 AM

Ooooh, Jorgen Lovborg’s Geese Aplenty!  The Jenny Angstrom character was unforgettable (or so I hear).

You weren’t quite right when you said that Google would not help find the origin of “Geese Aplenty”.  I found this cached page through Google which contains Lovborg’s Women Considered.

Posted by David  on  05/25  at  07:48 AM

Hah.

Posted by Greg  on  05/25  at  08:10 AM

that greg. he’s so tricky with the smarty pants literary stuff.

grin

Posted by  on  05/27  at  10:43 AM