Some parents want their babies to have extra special abilities. Therefore, sometimes the mother chooses to give birth underwater so her child will be particularly adaptable to water.
When I�m a father, I want the birth to take place both underwater and in outer space. That way, I can be assured that my child will be a swimming astronaut.
I suggest consulting with the mother.
I gave birth in water because I wanted my baby to have the special ability to hear my cursing and gnashing of teeth with that cool underwater echo-y effect.
Greg…
Wouldn’t your mate need to already BE an underwater astronaut in order to accomplish this feat?
Isn’t one Astraquanaut per family enough?
--LAZ
I’m thinking that any future spawn of mine is gonna be born into a pile of cash.
Hee haw
I was born underwater and I cannot swim. I sink straight to the bottom. Scientists are confused.
If your child is born in outerspace, I’d suggest you not board any planes that he’s a passenger on…
I think that if you’re a man giving birth that you can do it however you like.
And, yeah, my next one will be born inot a pile of cash.
so, do you plan to, er.. attend the birth? and which midwife/obstetician are you lining up for this? and how does the shuttle charge, as there would be one more coming down as going up? and would the baby be russian (because americans aren’t taking paying guests yet, so far as i’ve heard).
oh, and if they/you are in outer space, how are you going to keep all the water in one place? (and genes aside, if you just had her giving birth in a plane in water, you might have a flying fish baby, who i guess mightn’t make as much money as a swimming astronaut baby, but would probably have more fun).
actually, this sounds interesting. looking forward to updates (particularly on the identity of the very brave mrs aplenty)…
I’m more an idea man. I don’t sweat the details.
You can’t be “assured” your child will be or do anything you want. I stood over Bundle of Joy #2’s crib for HOURS gently whispering, “You’re going to be an attorney.” Off he goes to college 3 1/2 years ago, and then comes home to tell us he doesn’t want to be an attorney, it is, after all, HIS life. “Fair enough, son,” I say supportively, “What do you want to be.”
A poet.
Yes, of course. And how high is your fever?
Well- both of my kids were born in a hospital but I don’t think they’ll be doctors. They’re basically too smart to spend that much time and money in school so you can be too busy to have fun while you’re paying back all your loans. (and don’t get me started on malpractice insurance.)
Oh darn! I wish I had thought of that 7 years ago! Keep it quiet, though, because now everyone will want a swimming astronaut!