When you work at a company that deals with venture capitalists, you sometimes go to networking events and talk to venture capitalists.
Venture capitalists are people who give other people money in order to start companies. In return they take a share of those companies, often in the form of stock options, that they eventually sell for a profit.
When you get a bunch of venture capitalists in a conversation, you can sometimes learn a lot. Unfortunately, you also often get an exchange like this:
“I work with Steelpoint Ventures, and we manage a $1 billion fund.”
“Oh. Well, I work with Redbridge Ventures, and we manage a $1 billion fund with a 50% return on investment.”
“Oh. Well, I work with Steelbridge Ventures, and we manage a $1 billion fund with a 50% return on investment and lots of great synergies.”
At this point I can’t take it anymore. So I interject: “I work in marketing, and I manage my annual salary which is less than each of you make in a week. I’m currently accepting donations so I can buy Buffy Season 5 on DVD.”
Everyone visibly relaxes, since there’s nothing to prove as long as I’m in the room, and the conversation continues on a normal track.
as a fellow destitute marketing stooge, i feel your pain more than i can express. good luck with your donation scheme.
perhaps instead of a donation, you could convince them to invest in the “buffy fund” you’re managing. then you just take their money, buy the dvd, and ignore them. i think that’s how the financial world pretty much works anyway.
The VC version of the perennial boy scout camping trip game of seeing who can piss the furthest.
you really say that?
Okay, so maybe all I said was “I’m in Marketing,” but the effect is the same.
i used to tell people what i really did just to watch their eyes glaze over.
no one wants to hear an indepth discription of a microbiologist’s day.
it’s a great buzz killer when you need one.
greg, go beat up bryan, he’s saying things about you and deviant sex acts.
You could also add, as an afterthought, “And I have an extremely LARGE penis.”
Well, only if it’s true.
Do you know how many times a day I remind myself that if I hadn’t been knocked up, I would be able to afford seasons one and two of NYPD Blue?
I’ve had the opposite experience: A room full of State U grads, and just one prick who placed so much faith in institutions, he wouldn’t speak to anyone that didn’t graduate from the ivy league.
I had to kick him in the nuts for the conversation to resume.
You should set up a little link to donations and use paypal. I could send you a dollar, maybe. I think I have 4 quarters laying around. Of course that would be Canadian.
that’s too bad.
i think you should really say it.
then i could call you “greg: diffuser of heated corporate situations”
and bake you a pie.
Dude, I’ll totally do that for a pie.